A month after Sammy Sportface broke the story, the national news media revealed yesterday that Rob Gronkowski has rejoined the Tampa Bay Dragons. Gronk will come out of a year-long retirement to catch passes with his former New England Patriots quarterback, Tom “TB” Brady.
Gronk will wear the number “420” in honor of April 20th, the national dope-smoking day. He will be the first NFL player ever allowed to wear a three-digit number on his jersey.
In the first 24 hours since the news broke, the Gronk 420 jersey has outsold all other NFL player jerseys combined.
At this Fall’s Dragons games, Ricky Williams will be wearing the 420 Gronk jersey in the pirate ship in the stadium endzone. After every touchdown, he will do a bong hit for the crowd.
Pirate fanatic Mike Leach, head coach of Mississippi State’s football team, will hang out with Roach Clip Ricky for every game sporting a pirate’s outfit and holding up a pirate sign.
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell signed off on this 420 number because he has started to smoke pot in recent weeks. Supportive of the mythological vibes emanating from the number 420, Goodell believes it’s a gas to get high.
“How could I not allow Gronk to wear 420?” he asked. “Over the past few weeks, I have smoked weed with Ricky Williams, Tom Brady, Antonio Brown, Drew Bledsoe, Robert Kraft, and Bill Belch. And that got me thrown in jail, which was kind of cool until it wasn’t.
“The 420 number will pull the hippie demographic into the NFL family,” added. “Brady and his Dragons are free to do whatever they want because he got me out of the Daytona Beach jail. I also derive pleasure sticking it to Belch and Kraft who have been serial cheaters in this league.”
Elsewhere in Tampa Bay yesterday, TB got busted throwing passes at a local recreational park, which was against the law because of the pandemic’s stay-at-home rules.
When the police officer confronted TB, he noticed the quarterback was smoking a joint.
“I am celebrating because Gronk is coming to catch passes for me in Tampa Bay,” he said. “Gronk will help us win the Super Bowl this season. I engineered the trade so Belch and Kraft no longer can have Gronk on their team.
Brady told the cop he plans to recruit and acquire all the good players on the Patriots roster.
“None of them want to play for Belch,” he said. “They want to join me. I’ve been talking to a bunch of those guys and it’s just a matter of time before they join the Dragons dynasty.”
The police officer didn’t charge Brady with anything even though he was breaking the stay at home and public pot smoking laws.
“I don’t care what laws he breaks as long as he wins us a Super Bowl,” the officer said. “I think it sounds awesome that he’s going to get more good Patriots players to play for Tampa Bay.”
Meanwhile, Sammy Sportface reported that this Gronk move to Tampa Bay has been a done deal for a month. The sports blogger has been on a coast-to-coast odyssey chronicling this Brady/Belch deathmatch.
A month ago he ran into Gronk. At that time the tight end sported a thong while at a TB-sponsored party on Daytona Beach during Spring Break.
“I want to announce to the world right now that I’m coming out of retirement to play with Tom Brady for Tampa Bay,” said Gronk.
To be continued…
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