Chuck, Man, Gary Potts is better than you. Face it, Chuck, he’s better than you. Chuck, Man, Matt the Catt Lewis is better than you. Face it, Chuck, he’s better than you. You’re not as good and have to face it. Chuck, Man, you peaked in sixth grade. It was all downhill after that. Chuck, … Read more
Sammy Sportface, who used to be a fat load, got svelte. And now chicks are checking him out everywhere he goes. “I walk down the hallways in the office and women look up from whatever they’re doing and check me out,” said Svelte Sportface. “I can feel them staring and can tell they can’t control … Read more
Feeling disconsolate that I won’t be able to see Love Seed Mama Jump (LSMJ) detonate Dewey Beach until next summer, and getting crestfallen that I have to go back to work and start pumping out tumultuous tomes about the dangers of AI, I sought a emotional pick-me-up this morning by pummeling my new besty, generative … Read more
Be objective. Examine the fact pattern below dispassionately, as if you don’t really care. Who is most to blame for losing the big game? Was it Rudy, who held Linwood Davis to 37 points, who made Linwood look like Michael Jordan before Michael Jordan? Or should the blame be thrown at Sportface, who took 54 … Read more
The rubber wheels of the jet touch down at Dover Air Force Base, less than 60 minutes from the sand grains of Deauville Beach, Delaware. Out steps Peach, pausing to salute the 12 marines lined up in perfect formation on the ground below, each one saluting this one-of-a-kind American hero, the top triathlete in Southeast … Read more
Yearning to increase popularity of their historically lackluster league, mired in financial ruin, and searching to push the emotional buttons of the current American zeitgeist, the WNBA opened the curtains this week – the first act of many – to perform its mastermind staged plot to reverse course and make the struggling sports league the … Read more
It keeps going, life. Things end. I was watching the last episode of the “Around the Horn” TV show yesterday. For 23 years, this daily staple has been piped into my TV room. Now it’s off – poof. Watching this show had become a part of my life. Not every day, but … Read more
You think you know all there is to know about Caitlin Clark. She’s great, famous, charismatic, and popular. The Queen of the WNBA and Miss America/Miss Universe, as proclaimed by Sammy Sportface. But get this: she’s not the most popular player on her own team. It’s someone else. Like Caitlin, this someone … Read more
Since last Fall’s WNBA season ended, Caitlin Miss Universe Clark has gone to the gym and practiced basketball skills every day at 8:00 am. Every day. To get better. To develop a mid-range shot. To be able to drive to her left more effectively. To sharpen all her skills: long-range shooting, dribbling, passing. Knowing she … Read more
The other day I was talking with a guy I know who plays in a New York City softball league. He told me something I didn’t know but found amusing. If the field has a home run fence and you crush one over it, it’s not counted as a home run. Bust one out and … Read more