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It was June, the summer after my senior year in high school. My older brother, a University of North Carolina graduate, took me to see his alma mater and met with the baseball coach and an admissions officer.
I was on the waiting list to be admitted and we figured directly meeting with both of them might convince them of my earnestness about wanting to be a Tar Heel and help me get the acceptance letter – and an opportunity to play on the baseball team.
The baseball coach wasn’t interested. He had signed the guys he wanted. There was never any hint from him he wanted to help me get admitted to play baseball. If he didn’t know about me, how good could have been?
He was wrong about me, honestly.
I was quite good at baseball – all-state. But that meant nothing to him. He wasn’t mean; just disinterested, totally non-committal.
When we met with the admissions officer, the reaction stung even more. He made it clear my grades weren’t good enough to be admitted to Carolina as an out-of-state student. No. You’re not smart enough. You’re not getting accepted to the University of North Carolina.
Unequivocal rejections.
Several months before it had become clear Dean Smith wasn’t interested in me playing basketball for his Tar Heels. No phone calls. Was I good enough to play basketball for Carolina? Not as a starter. But I was good enough to be on the team. Seriously. Go ahead and doubt me. I don’t care. This is how I see it.
So Carolina told me in three different ways I wasn’t good enough for them. You’re not good enough in baseball. You’re not good enough in basketball. And you’re not smart enough. It’s the only school that I struck out seeking admission to in three different ways.
Which brings us to last night. As I watched the Carolina Tar Heels get knocked out of the March Madness tournament, I didn’t feel any sadness for them. I realize no one playing had anything to do with my experiences with Carolina. But I’m still not a fan of the baby blue-blue bloods because they told me I wasn’t good enough for them.
Turns out, I was and they misjudged me.
I know we shouldn’t hold grudges like this 40 years later. Most of us got rejected from colleges. I know it shows a side of my character, bitterness, and resentment, that I am not proud of and know isn’t how we’re supposed to behave. It shows a lack of character, an inability to move on.
But it also shows competitiveness and a desire to prove people wrong who slight us, which I think we can all agree is a worthy characteristic. One of America’s highest values is that we’re competitive and are motivated by slights, and I was a competitor being told I wasn’t good enough for Carolina in any way. It was a blow to me because I had been working hard, growing to achieve academically and athletically. For real.
Carolina lost last night. I was rooting against them not only because they turned me away but also because they’e been to plenty of Final Fours and I like to see other schools get to enjoy that.
Roll Tide. Alabama beat the Heels and I felt good for them and feel no sympathy for Carolina even though I have friends and family who went there whom I like and respect very much.
When you get rejected, you often don’t forget. You remember the sting, the hurt. You want to prove all those doubters wrong.
I heard a vignette this morning that captures the feeling I’d like to leave you with. ESPN sports broadcaster Scott Van Pelt was talking about the passing of Maryland coach Lefty Driesell and remembering a conversation he had with the coach who was a friend of his.
“You’ve done well,” Lefty said to Van Pelt when his ESPN career was taking off.
“If it were luck, it would have run out a long time ago,” said Lefty.
This is how I feel about how my life has turned out. I am where I am professionally, and it’s not because of luck. It’s not king of the world, but it isn’t inconsequential either. It’s full of achievements attained through hard work being good to other people and being a good though flawed father.
The truth is this. Carolina should have accepted me because I could have helped their basketball and baseball teams, and I would have been a solid student.
But instead, I went to Wake Forest where I got, to my eternal appreciation, an incredibly fabulous, life-changing education that has been enriching my mind, life, and relationships ever since.
It all worked out. I’m a Wake Forest fan for life. The university literally changed my life for the better right up to this moment.
And I will always like to see Carolina lose. Not because I dislike anyone there in particular.
It’s because they told me I wasn’t good enough.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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