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The biggest music star in the world, Taylor Swift, announced she’s dumping Kansas City Chiefs football player Travis Kelce and changing her name to Taylor Sportface.
In between songs during her sold-out concert last night at New York’s MetLife Stadium, she jolted the pop culture world by announcing she’s changing her name to Taylor Sportface. She’s doing this to capitalize on the rising fame of sports blogging superstar Sammy Sportface and boost her brand so she can sell more tickets to her concerts.
She said Sportface’s blogs are more amusing and entertaining than anything Travis Kelce does on the football field or mouths off about after games or on his podcasts.
Sportface then sauntered onto the stage and the crowd roared uproariously. While Sportface danced around, Taylor Sportface began to unload her famous hit “Mean” on Kelce to let everyone know she thinks he’s mean and has moved on to become Taylor Sportface.
These words capture the most momentous moment in pop culture history:
And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody’s listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can’t sing
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
Then she’ll talk about how Sammy Sportface is so unlike Kelce, not mean and not destined to talk about football games the rest of his life because he’s got more substance, doesn’t have loud opinions that nobody listens to, and isn’t washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things.
Nodding his head along with 90,000 in the stadium, Sammy Sportface takes a bow for being none of those mean things Travis Kelce is.
Her final song is about to be played. Before that – to tease the crowd — Taylor Sportface tells the story about how she used to sit in her upstairs bedroom and write handwritten notes to communicate with Sammy Sportface through an apartment window, wondering why, as the star high school quarterback, he was dating the lead cheerleader and not her, who sits in the bleachers in her T-shirt.
This is the story she sang about in her hit “You Belong With Me, Sportface:”
These passionate lyrics peal back her true feelings for Sportface.
But she wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
She’s Cheer Captain, and I’m on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you’re looking for has been here the whole time
Taylor Sportface finally has realized the superstar sports blogger she’s been looking for, Sammy Sportface, has been here the whole time.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
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