During fifth-grade recess, the boys would run around the playground playing mall ball. One day my best frenemy Rudy came up to me acting all nonchalant and innocent then punched me in the balls. He racked me.
I bent over in agony feeling awful sensations I never had before.
He guffawed. “I just racked Chuck. Look at him. He can’t move. Look at the pain he’s feeling. Chuck’s a sucker.”
I bring this up because racking guys is the big story in the NBA playoffs. This week James Harden of the Sixers elbowed Royce O’Neale in the gonads causing the Nets player to bend over and stop playing basketball to focus on his jewels. Earlier in the game Joel Embiid kicked Nic Claxton in the nuts.
Racking guys on the basketball court has been done before, but not often twice in the same game. Maybe this will become a trend to draw more eyeballs to the games. Wouldn’t you be more inclined to watch if you were confident you would see guys get racked?
This got me thinking: how does it feel to get racked? The words don’t come easily beyond pain and agony and speechlessness.
When Rudy racked me, the last thing on my mind was racking him back – at least in that moment (I would rack him later; we racked each other several times while growing up).
Whenever I’ve been racked including that day at recess, I’ve walked away from whoever racked me and wanted quiet and contemplative time to myself to endure the suffering with some space around me to breathe and think and wonder why it hurts too much to get racked.
It feels like a sudden, full-on throbbing migraine head in your testicles. You can’t escape the pain, just like a headache. You just have to suffer through it. The pain is a bit subtle, not like when you cut your finger.
More like when you get the wind knocked out of you and you’re scared because you can’t breathe and you feel a bit dizzy and profoundly damaged. The pain lasts and overwhelms you. Your man region throbs but not in a good way.
I have to thank Rudy for racking me that day because he gave me insights into how it feels which are coming in handy right now.
Every guy should get racked at least once to understand how it feels. We should teach kids that if no one racks them in grade school – which would make them among the fortunate few – they should rack themselves. Not really whack their nuts but knock them hard enough that they feel the pain.
To ensure this happens, they should pop themselves squarely on the most round part of their testicles. Really expose themselves to the blow or the experiment won’t generate enough agony for them to relate to the feeling.
We should make it clear they should not – I repeat should not — rack themselves over and over. That would be too big of an ask. Once will suffice.
Racked once, they’ll be able to read a blog about being racked and empathize more with the blogger, which is important.
Ever been racked? What was your experience like?
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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