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Bill Walton, the former NCAA tournament MVP turned Dead Head, convinced Sammy Sportface the two of them needed to watch the Grand Canyon Antelopes play their opening round game against Iowa this Saturday from the top of the Grand Canyon.
So napkin-ing off from their Shell Station lunch, they drove 2,200 miles to Arizona to the peak of the world-renowned site of freakish beauty.
“From the majestic setting of the Grand Canyon is the only way to watch this game in a fulfilling fashion,” says Walton. “We have to watch Grand Canyon play from the Grand Canyon. There’s a symmetry to this, a wealth of symbiotic sensibility to it. I’m so glad to be alive today.”
Walton surveys the Grand Canyon topography, undulations, and vistas. More than a place, it’s like a creature. It’s 277 miles long, 18 miles wide, and over a mile (6,093 feet) deep.
He thinks about the vastness and how that’s a metaphor for the vastness of the March Madness field of 68 teams.
“Here we are, Sportface, four days before Grand Canyon plays, hanging out at the peak of the Grand Canyon just taking all this natural beauty of giganticness in. Can you imagine if the Grateful Dead had played at the base of the Grand Canyon? I wouldn’t go down there no matter how deep into the Earth the show took place. Just think, going a mile deep into the Earth’s core to watch the Dead perform. What a trip that would be.”
On his smartphone, Walton reads up on the Grand Canyon team. It’s a preview article on the Sammy Sportface Facebook blog. There he learns that the team is led by Asbjorn Midtgaard, who pops in 14 points and grabs 9 rebounds per game.
“I wonder if this dude Asbjorn is from Sweden or Nairobi. I wonder if he’s related to Bjorn Borg. I wonder why his last name isn’t spelled with just one ‘a’ so it’s Midtgard. Why the need for a second ‘a’? I wonder if Asbjorn has ever been to the Grand Canyon or Sweden. What a spectacular time Asbjorn would have at the Grand Canyon hangin’ with me and Sammy Sportface.”
George Foreman drives up in the Jackson Five Jalope. He gets out and pulls out his grill.
“Time to fry some Grand Canyon antelopes,” says George. “That’s what we’ll eat until tip-off on Saturday.”
He takes several antelopes out of the trunk and starts up the grills.
“What an incredible time to be alive, at the peak of the Grand Canyon, surviving on the land, cooking antelopes, in preparation for the greatest first-round match-up in March Madness history.”
Tony Robbins shows up. A first-team All-American center for Iowa, he’s come to inspire and manipulate George, Bill, and Sammy.
“If we just visualize ourselves flying through the air across the Grand Canyon, we can actually do it. We can use our mental powers to become birds or planes or whatever we want to be and soar through the air, across the sky. All it takes is mental discipline. If you can see yourselves flying across the Grand Canyon, you can believe it. And if you believe it, that’s all you need. The power of belief is more powerful than any powers human beings have ever had. People who believe they can fly.”
Tony then goes up to Walton. His face is 3 inches from Bill’s.
“Where are you mentally, Bill? Are you in your powerful mental space where you feel invincible?”
“I always feel invincible, Tony. Ever since my first Dead concert I’ve never felt that anything could stop me or anyone from doing whatever they want to do. Life is a bunch of oysters. Or life is our oyster. People are oysters.”
Tony escorts Walton to the edge of the Grand Canyon.
“All you gotta do is believe you won’t nose-dive more than one mile to the bottom of the canyon and you won’t,” says Robbins.
“I believe,” says Walton. “I believe in the power of nature, the stars and the moon and gravity and the laws of the universe. I believe in Tony Robbins and his dubious theories. I believe that we are all brought here to this moment for a reason. I believe in the supernatural powers we humans get by eating antelopes.”
Walton spreads his arms like a bird. He does a swan dive as the cliff divers do in Alcapulco. He heads straight down at 32 feet per second times 2 every second.
To be continued…
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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