SS: NGSC Sports Unleashes New Year’s Resolutions

NGSC Sports Unleashes New Year’s Resolutions

  • We will not cover the Crossfit Games.
  • We will not post any content during tax season.
  • We will not allow Sammy Sportface to write anything he wants without it being fact-checked.
  • We will not cover water sports.
  • We will order Wendy’s Baconators every day for lunch.
  • We will do geology feature stories every other week
  • We will not profile anyone who is in the news.
  • We will be haphazard.
  • We will short stocks.
  • We will post SAT questions.
  • We won’t respond to reader inquiries.
  • We will pirate more video content.
  • We will not cover the Music City Bowl.
  • We will not mention the Toronto Raptors.
  • We will disseminate fake news.
  • We will not honor news embargoes.
  • We will be more zealous in our pursuit of advertising revenues.
  • We will eat steak with A1 Sauce every day for lunch.
  • We will cower to no one.
  • We will pretend we’re bigger than we are.
  • We will watch TV.
  • We will travel without suitcases.
  • We will not have Sammy Sportface on any of our Spreaker shows.
  • We will not pay Sammy Sportface.
  • We will be up front about our lack of interest in the San Diego Padres.
  • We will spend more time revamping our business strategy.
  • We will hold a concert and our lead singer will be Ralph Jerry Garcia.
  • We will have a moment of silence for Jerry Garcia.
  • We will not encourage anyone to read Sammy Sportface.
  • We will discuss the hand-slap game called paper scissors rock.
  • We will not explain what the NFL defines as a catch and not a catch.
  • We will think about doing something else with our lives.
  • We will declare for bankruptcy; this will protect us from having to pay all the people to whom we owe money.
  • We will shut down NSGSSports.

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Sammy Sportface
Possibly America’s best sports blogger. Sometimes relevant and insightful. Often funny and satirical. Mostly mysterious and unpredictable. Only mildly interested in the truth.
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