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Sometimes when things aren’t going your way, you have to change things up, wear a different pair of boxer shorts, drive on the left side of the road, you know, stuff like that. After losing its past two games and its season on the brink of spiraling uncontrollably the wrong way, the Wake Forest football team has all week gone all out eating Cajun food and chanting “Rajin’ Deacons” at the end of meals and practices to get their heads fired up for Saturday’s highly pivotal game against the Rajin’ Cajuns of Louisiana.
In a gesture of solidarity, all tailgate food at the game will be Cajun: Shrimp Po’ Boy Sliders, Jambalaya, Crawfish, Gumbo, Fried Catfish, and Creamy Stuffed Salmon.
Getting ahead of this breaking story, Sammy Sportface has publicly announced that while he supports the Cajun food to psyche up the players and fans – anything to help the team’s teetering mojo – he’s concerned this food might rip apart his stomach so he’s going to bring Bojangles chicken breasts, Big Macs, and Baconators for himself. At dessert time, which will vary depending on the tailgate starting times, he’ll partake of the Cajun dessert because it’s not a vegetable or creature from the nasty ocean: Beignets (deep dark fried doughnuts).
“I was gonna bring three dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, but the deep-fried doughnuts should be a satisfactory stand-in. Someone such as TJ better bring me three dozen of them for me because I can’t do that salmon, shrimp, and crawfish. Not before a game. I need to be fleet afoot when I play; can’t be distracted eye-balling the nearest restroom.”
In the parking lot before the game there will be forklifts digging up dirt from the nearby woods that will be dropped into trash dumpsters packed with rice to make the Cajun specialty, delectable dirty rice.
“Dirty rice sounds better than fried catfish even if the dirt comes from the woods,” said Sportface.
Sportface will bring his megaphone and roam around the parking lot chanting “Rajun Deacons” and thousands will join him in the chorus as they cram down Cajun colon cloggers.
The Rajin’ Deacon staff, cognizant all the players have been loading on Cajun gumbo goop throughout the week, will bring 100+ barf bags onto the sideline in case any players need to heave before kickoff or once the action gets heated and their bodies start to sweat and rebel.
The Wake Demon Deacon will wear a newfangled Ragin’ Deacon outfit and will be seen gnawing on crawfish on the sideline.
He’ll be raging mad after he eats that and has to go be alone by himself for 17 minutes or so. While he’s away Sportface will be seen on the Jumbotron dancing and leading the Rajin’ Deacons cheers with his megaphone and dirty rice spittle dirtying his #11 Riley Skinner is a Winner jersey.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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