In a fit of revenge laced with spiteful animosity, leaders of the Green Bay Packers have turned the tables on their surly, disgruntled, and hyper-arrogant MVP quarterback, Aaron Rodgers. General manager Brian Gutekunst and head coach Matt LeFleur have cut a deal for their second-string quarterback, Jordan Love, to be Phil Mickelson’s teammate and replace Tom Brady in the contrived Golf Match on the 6th of July in Montana.
“We thought Aaron would enjoy playing golf against the new starting quarterback of the Green Bay Packers,” said Gutekunst. “Jordan’s been our starting QB for all the pre-season practices Aaron has been skipping, and we want to have Jordan be there so Rodgers will be ticked off the entire 18 holes.”
This is a petty move by the brass of the Packers, but understandable. Rodgers has shown them zero respect and publicly anointed all of them incompetent and unintelligent. He’s also said he doesn’t like them and wants to be traded.
“We hate Aaron as much as he hates us,” said Gutekunst. “We can’t wait to start our season with Jordan Love behind center. He’s a class act and is working hard and listens to what we say. We hope Aaron has a horrible day having to see the guy, for 18 holes, who’s taking his job as the starting quarterback of the Packers.”
The top brass of the Packers doubled down on the venom they’re spewing at Rodgers. They’ve arranged for Brett Favre, whom Rodgers also hates, to be a side-show during the Golf Match.
In each of 18 fairways Favre, who hates Rodgers, will be wrestling with Montana’s biggest and ugliest grizzly bears. It’s a ploy to divert attention from the golf match and Rodgers pimping around like a two-sport star athlete.
“Rodgers wants this Golf Match to be about him because he’s an egomaniac,” said LeFleur. “So we’ve arranged for this to be about Brett Favre and how great an athlete he was, so great that he can win wrestling matches with grizzly bears. That’ll be the show everyone watches, and it will make Aaron angry because the attention won’t be on his diva ass.”
Favre said he was happy to help the Packers stick it to Rodgers.
“I’m always up for annoying Aaron Rodgers,” said Favre. “He stole my QB job away from me. I should still be the quarterback of the Packers. Can’t wait to wrestle those grizzly bears.”
John Madden, who has had an ongoing bromance with Favre for three decades, believes his hero will overpower the grizzlies.
“Sure Montana has the biggest and most fierce grizzle bears in America, but I mean I mean, we’re talking Brett Favre here,” he said. “I’d bet on Brett Favre to outwrestle 20 grizzly bears at once. There’s only one Brett Favre and there could only be one guy to fight and beat 20 grizzly bears and that one guy is Brett Favre.”
Jordan Love will take the spot of Tom Brady, another NFL quarterback who was previously scheduled to play with Phil Mickelson. Brady was fine with being replaced because on the day of the event he actually preferred to be watching game films as he does every day for 12 hours non-stop.
“I’ve got to watch film of the Patriots that day,” he said. “We play them in Week 4 and I wanna kick Belichick’s ass. I’m the GOAT and I’m gonna prove it to everybody again in that game in Foxboro.”
Phil Mickelson, who organized this Golf Match, said he was all for replacing Brady with Love.
“TV ratings will soar with Love and Rodgers playing against each other and Favre disrupting everything tangling with grizzly bears,” he said. “I’m betting right $10 million right now the grizzlies destroy Favre. What a TV spectacle that’s going to be.”
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