Bruce Jenner Joins Forrest Gump in Run to Chiefs Game In New Orleans

Bruce Jenner Joins Forrest Gump in Run to Chiefs Game In New Orleans

The motley crew of caravan road trippers wiped the possum juice off their mouths with their hands, took one more whiff of the Ozark mountain air, and piled back in their respective automobiles.

Forrest Gump stood ready to follow them on the next leg of the road trip. It was going to be an all-nighter from Southern Missouri to New Orleans where the NFL’s best team, the Chiefs, would take on the Saints starting at 4:25 pm Central Standard Time tomorrow afternoon.

Out on the interstate a few miles into the 677-mile journey, fans stood on overpass bridges.

“Run Forrest run,” they yelled.

Forrest stared in front of him not understanding why they were yelling at him to keep running.

Out from some bushes scooted Bruce Jenner to join the runners. As you may recall, Jenner won the 1976 Olympic Decathlon Gold Medal in Montreal. Years later he played a bit part on the hit show called “The Kardashians” before moving on to become a woman.

Bruce, now Caitlyn, could still run long distances and kept up with Forrest and Butkis, Rocky’s bulldog.

The caravan then entered a rather dark part of the trip beyond the fact that the sun had gone down and nighttime enveloped the sky and it was hard to see 10 feet in front of them.

“I just saw a sign that we’re in the Ozarks of Arkansas,” said Favre. “That’s Whitewater Arkansas where the Clintons did some land deal that got them investigated by the feds for seven straight years.”

“Those were some dark years,” said Jeb. “Our TV show had been canceled several decades earlier and I been heaving hay around Missouri to make ends meet after squandering all the riches I made as a star of the ‘Beverly Hillbillies.’ The Clintons gave the Ozarks a bad name even more than the Beverly Hillbillies did.”

On they traveled hour after hour for hundreds of miles. Then suddenly a gaggle of guys in white shirts and white t-shirts joined.

The two at the head of the group, Eric Liddell and Harold Abrahams, played the protagonists in the hit film “Chariots of Fire” several decades ago.

“This is different,” said Eric. “We’re used to running on the beach in Scotland to that cool tune in the opening scene.”

“Where are you guys running to?” asked Harold.

“I don’t know,” said Forrest. “I just felt like running.”

Tens hours into the trip, the Wienermobile, Jackson Five Jalopy, Beverly Hillbillies convertible and Danica Patrick’s race car lead the runners as they approach the Super Dome. They’re 30 minutes away.

Throngs of fans stand and cheer along each side of the road. Suddenly out in front of all the runners, a woman can be seen running. She’s in a yellow shirt and white shorts. All night long no one – not even the ever-vigilant Stephen A. who stayed up all night in case a sports story broke – had seen this woman.

She waved to the crowd as they cheered her on to the tape at the finish line at the entrance to the football game tailgate party.

“That’s Rosie Ruiz,” said Sportface. 

“This just can’t get any better, I mean, boom, we drive and run all night across Arkansas and down into New Orleans and then, boom, Rosie Ruiz shows up for the last half mile to finish first place among, boom, all the runners including the barefoot Ethiopian guy,” he said. 

“This could only happen on a road trip spearheaded by the one and only guy, a football superhero, my favorite guy of all my favorite guys, and guy who moved all of our souls in the Ozark Mountains, the incredible Brett Favre.”

To be continued…

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