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Sammy Sportface: You’re a Disgrace, Sammy Sportface

Sammy Sportface

You’re a disgrace, Sammy Sportface.

You had your chance to do some good. But instead, you squandered it. You’re from the hood. You’re a phony and a profiteer. You’re an opportunist and a huckster. You’ve gone commercial. You’re an infomercial.

You’re a vile reptile. But you’ve got style. You beguile. You pitch like Sparky Lyle. Been no one like you in quite a while.

You’re a prank. Your ship has sunk. You make no bank.

What are you up to? What’s your deal? You aren’t real. You’re a cartoon. You’re a buffoon. Your gig will be up real soon.

Look at you typing. Look at you hyping. Why are you always stereotyping?

Why are you friends with Leon Hess?

You’re a mess. You are less. Why are you friends with Leon Hess?

What a messy guy you are. And that Deflate-gate football? Cute. You’re no Tom Brady. You’re not his lady. You’re friends with guys named Grady.

You’re just a relevance-seeking sports blowhard blogger. There are billions of those. Try a different pose. Maybe enlarge your nose.

You’re no better than the rest of them. You don’t have a unique selling point. Where’s your value proposition? What makes you stand out? You haven’t thought this through, have you?

Why should we buy what you’re selling? What exactly are you selling? The fact we don’t know is telling. Would you please stop yelling?

Why two numbers on your football jersey?

Your football jersey, it’s got two numbers. Are you two-faced, Sammy Sportface?

Why is that, Sammy Sportface? Trying to throw us off, get us to wonder about you, ask ourselves “what’s up with Sammy Sportface”? Why are you bent on being different? Are you an exhibitionist? An abolitionist? A contortionist? A ventriloquist? Bobby Unser?

Need for authenticity

The Baby Boomer Brotherhood needs an authentic soul, a guy who rolls, bowls, sets goals, and rigamaroles. We need a real leader, someone who catapults us forward, changes the narrative, thinks unconventional thoughts, upends the status quo, overhauls previously conceived notions, quashes groupthink, and drinks Fanta Grape Soda.

Speak in ways we understand. Take a stand. Orchestrate our band. Play “Love Shack.” Dance to “Baby Come Back.” Sing “The Battle Hymn of the Republic.” Play the piano. Read Kurt Vonnegut’s “Player Piano.”

Practice your yo-yo. Find our mojo. Strum our banjo.

Speak so we will know the way. Don’t worry what others say. They’re unsure, anyway. Speak to us, Sammy Sportface. Save your face. Galvanize the human race.

Speak to The Baby Boomer Brotherhood, Sammy Sportface. Make us stronger. Hold us back no longer. Be disgraceful. We don’t care. We’ll go with you anywhere.

Speak loud. Speak proudly. Speak from the clouds. Channel cloud computing. Buy blockchain stocks. Study quantum computing. Stop all the looting.

What’s with your face, Sammy Sportface?

You’re a disgrace, Sammy Sportface. Tell us how to win the race. Show us how to keep pace while saving face. What’s with your face, Sammy Sportface? Your cheesy goatee makes you look like a schmuck. Lose your whiskers, pluck by pluck.

Your smile annoys. It makes bad noise.  It irritates the Baby Boomer Brotherhood boys.

Your blog bores. Close your doors. Nobody buying you at the stores.

You’re a disgrace, Sammy Sportface. Tell us what needs to be known. We can handle it, we’re all grown. Lead our ship. Be our captain. Steer us clear. Draw us near. Guzzle beer. Never veer. Hear them cheer.

You’re a disgrace, Sammy Sportface. The Baby Boomer Brotherhood needs you now. Take the stage. Take a bow. Jazz us somehow.

Write some blogs, post some stuff

You’re a disgrace, Sammy Sportface. Write some blogs. Post some stuff. Let it fly. Don’t ask why. Post it rough. Be tough.

Show us the way to joy. Make us do things we enjoy. Find us the path, take us there. We don’t care. Go anywhere.

Write a poem. Use alliteration. Eat Lucky Charms all day long even though it’s wrong.

Remember the band Kiss?

Are you up to this? You can’t miss. Fall in the abyss. Remember the band Kiss?

Your time is now, your mission set. How much you wanna bet? What are we gonna get?

It’s all on you, Sammy Sportface. We’re counting on you. Whatcha gonna do?

Wipe that smile off your face, Sammy Sportface.

Fix your face. Be a disgrace.

Lead us all, the human race.

Author Profile

Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:

Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out

Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
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