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Thrashing about for something to do during the Wake Forest football bye weekend, I listened to a few hours of a podcast ingesting Christopher Langan explaining the Cognitive-Theoretic Model of the Universe.
This guy Langan, who got a perfect score on the SAT and took a nap in the middle of it, is the smartest man in the world with an IQ between 195 and 210.
I figured I could learn something. He tackles some fairly ambitious topics in this model which he describes as “The True Theory of Everything.”
This rather ambitious theory explains the linkages between reality and the mind and the existence of cognition and the universe in the same phase.
Got that?
Fully concentrating as he explained this on YouTube TV, I tried different ways to grasp his concepts: closed my eyes, put my face closer to the screen, looked out a window, turned my head to the left, and rolled over on my stomach.
None of it sunk in. Not one concept. No dots connected in my brain. Everything he said flew 100,000 feet above me, making me wonder if he was just busting on everybody making up some theory that doesn’t make sense that people would still listen to and assume was brilliant because his IQ breaks the sound barrier.
Is this a big joke he’s pulling on the world? Is he trying to channel Sammy Sportface? Does he read Sammy Sportface? Has reading Sportface made him smarter?
If his theory of everything is just an imagination in his head signifying nothing and he knows it, you have to admire such a clever stunt. If his theory actually makes sense or doesn’t, how will any of us ever know? He’s got us all not knowing what he’s up to, feeling unable to comprehend what’s on his mind, talking above us, perhaps just goofing around, and he’s so smart we can’t decipher his antics.
But I wonder how a true theory of everything could not include any mentions of Caitlin Clark, The Joker, and Sportface’s new rap song, “Don’t Be Callin’ Us Salamanders, We Are the Washington Commanders”?
If we’re really theorizing about everything, it’s imperative that he mention these all-important current events not to mention past heroes such as Barney Rubble and Captain Von Trapp.
This dude’s Theory of Everything is far from comprehensive in my view. His thinking is too narrow, his cognition scattershot, his logic flimsy. A giant cotton ball of confusion.
He seems too concerned with logic when, as far as I can tell, we’re living in a world overflowing with illogic. His logical predisposition strikes me as dubious at best.
I have fantasized about being the smartest person in the world and came to realize it wasn’t possible mostly because of my inability to get enough multiple-choice questions correct. I usually pick the second-best answer – the one test makers throw in there to get suckers to fall for.
But more important, what is this guy talking about? If you listen to the theory, I suspect you won’t have any idea what he’s talking about and I know you’re all smart because you’re Sportface readers. The abstractions are piled on top of hypotheticals and terminology that nearly no one has heard of.
This guy may not realize that it’s actually more impactful to focus on things people can understand on a mass scale and communicate that unpretentiously.
Example: Stephanie White is the perfect choice to coach Caitlin Clark and lead the Indiana Fever to the WNBA championship because she deeply appreciates how great Clark Kent is – as intensely as Sammy Sportface.
See – easy.
This guy, Langan grew up in Montana and spent a big chunk of his career as a bar bouncer on Long Island, New York. He’s big into weightlifting. He repeatedly skipped grades and dropped out of college because he realized he had more to teach the professors than they could teach them.
A similar journey – minus the smartest person in the world label – has been the fate of Sammy Sportface. A sports blogger on the outskirts of nowhere who pedals the stationary bike a few times a week.
Two random men on this planet.
Trying to figure out why we’re here, what we’re supposed to be doing, and what it means.
Both theorizing.
About everything.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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