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Is that what you’re saying? You think your country has better swimmers. You think you’re going to win more swimming Gold Medals at the Paris Olympics.
You don’t want to hear the Star Spangled Banner played as American swimmers stand on the Gold Medal podiums. That grates on you.
You don’t like us playing our cowbells at swimming meets?
You think we’re overrated as swimmers and Australians are underrated?
You think you have been showing for years, including the latest world championships, that Australia is just better, overall, at swimming than the United States and it’s time the rest of the world acknowledges that?
You’re quite confident Ariarne Titmus will de-fang Katie Ledecky in the 400-meter freestyle in Paris – knocking off the pedestal of America’s greatest American female swimmer. You can’t wait to see that, Americans bumming out because our superstar got beat by your Australian Queen.
What else don’t you like about us? The way we walk? Our red, white, and blue colors? The videos our Olympic swimmer makes before the Olympics? That “Call Me Maybe” video in 2012 turned your stomach, didn’t it?
It was sooooo American, acting all cool and hip and creative and cocky.
You honestly don’t think Americans are as good at swimming as they think they are. You’re a nation of 26 million people; America has 340 million.
You are certain that if Australia had as many people as America, it’s scary how much more dominant your country would be in swimming than it is already.
Americans actually underachieve in swimming given all the people in the country. That’s what you think, don’t you?
You smoke American swimmers for breakfast.
What else?
Phelps was overrated, right? The Thorpedo was better. Cate Campbell is better than Ledecky and also chattier.
Stephanie Rice? Better than Ledecky. We know. You’re right.
You’re right about all of this, Aussies. Americans are awful, self-centered, brash, self-congratulatory, and haughty.
Our national anthem hurts the ears.
Australia is so much better at swimming and everything else. You’re down to Earth, humble, and don’t make “Call Me Maybe” videos about your swimmers.
Can’t wait to watch you show the world in Paris what Australian swimming dominance is all about.
And play cowbells to celebrate all your victories.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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