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There are so many things I don’t like about Sammy Sportface that this framework of listing the top 10 worst things about him feels far too confining and incomplete.
The guy has no friends. Wolfford doesn’t like him. Whit can’t stand him. Headrow has had more than enough of all things Sammy Sportface.
And Rudy – what kind of a best friend name is Rudy? – keeps goading Sportface into digging a deeper hole for himself socially by blogging embarrassingly yet Sammy Sportface keeps falling for the goad because he’s desperate for attention.
But let’s not waste any more time. Here are the Top 10 Worst Things About Sammy Sportface.
- He’s a man. That right there is a huge negative. As I told you yesterday, men aren’t any good. They underachieve, they’re not strong-willed, and they acquiesce to women. Sportface has all the classic qualities of a meek man. He’s insecure. He eats to deal with stress. And he has a lot of gross habits.
- He blows at business. He sends his blogs to NGSCSports and gets people to read his stuff which generates ad money but he doesn’t get any of it. Ralph Garcia takes all that bag and stuffs it under his mattress while Sportface hasn’t made a nickel off his blogs. Ralph is buying big cars and motorboats milking the money Sportface is making on his blogs. Sportface still doesn’t have a nice car.
- He’s needy. He’s always writing about needing people to read his writing but then he says he doesn’t care if they read it, then he says he’s taking the summer off but then needs to keep getting attention and reactions so introduces me, Sally Sportface, as the new blogger because he needs to see how the Baby Boomer Brotherhood responds to this stunt.
- He writes book reports nobody cares about. He’ll read a book then go on and on in a blog about what the book meant to him and how it changed his thinking but the problem is no one cares about the book nor his reaction to it.
- He’s too obsessed with Caitlin Clark. I can tell you as a woman that I think it’s odd that a 61-year-old man would write 17 blogs about a female college basketball player in the span of two months. I mean, why is he always writing about her? It’s disquieting.
- He makes up stuff no one cares about. It would be one thing if he made up stuff that pulled readers in. But he makes up stuff about people and things no one cares about and his fake stories aren’t compelling. His ideas aren’t thought out. They’re stupid and strange.
- He writes too much about men. Men aren’t interesting. They sit around and watch sports. They don’t read books the way women do. Men don’t know much about anything and that’s why women are better because they’re more curious and well-educated and well-rounded and on the ball. Men are second-class citizens and Sammy Sportface is a classic example of a man without a cause embroiled in a rudder-less life. I wonder if he knows how big a loser he is.
- He’s jealous of everybody. He wishes he was Coach K so he could be rich and powerful, rock a mansion in Durham, and be asked to speak about how to be successful in life by the Aspen Institute. He’s jealous of Spars for being the lead singer of the Fez when he wishes he was. How lame is that? If there’s one word I would use to summarize all that’s wrong with Sportface, it would be jealous.
- He’s not a Hall of Famer. The guy self-promoted himself to be inducted into his high school Hall of Fame as an athlete and got flatly rejected. Is there anything less appealing in a person than lobbying to get elected into their Hall of Fame for sports that happened more than 40 years ago?
- He was a bust. Growing up, he was a star athlete for a little grade school, and all that went to his head. But from then on he got progressively worse as an athlete and fizzled away and was never anywhere close to a star after that one shining moment as a grade school boy. The guy is more stuck in his past than anyone else on Earth.
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Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
