Ever since he shouted to all of us that he’s dating mega-superstar, Taylor Swift, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is appearing on every screen imaginable with so slick Swift. They are on TV commercials, Facebook postings, Reddit feeds, podcasts, Hulu, Roku, Twitter handles, Instagram, and TikTok.
On these platforms, Kelce is always strutting around with Taylor, often hand in hand, here, there, and everywhere. All seven continents, including Africa and Antarctica, are being deluged 24-7 with every move this couple makes.
The good news is we’re going to be seeing much more of this football/ pop star super duo celebrity over the next few years. On his podcast last week he announced he’ll be competing in the 2024 Summer Olympics in Paris as a break-dancer, a sport making its debut at the upcoming Games.
During his break-dancing Super Bowl performances, beyond-belief-superwoman Taylor will perform several of her songs such as “Love Story” in which she’ll play the part of Shakespeare’s Juliet, and Travis will be Romeo break-dancing on a stage instead of calling up to Juliet’s window from her outdoor lawn.
“We don’t feel our relationship is getting enough public attention, downloads, hits, posts, followers, and clicks so we want to announce now – and get everybody stoked – for my Olympics break-dancing performances by teasing them with my break-dancing during the Super Bowl,” said Travis.
To build hype for this uncanny Olympics show, Travis will do a warmup performance during the 2024 Super Bowl half-time show coinciding with Taylor’s half-time concert.
He has already cleared this unusual plan with his coach, Andy Reid, who said as long as Travis catches 10 passes including 2 TDs in the Super Bowl he has the green light to break dance at halftime.
“I don’t care what Travis does during halftime of the Super Bowl as long as he gets open during the game,” said Reid.
Kansas City Chiefs players questioned why one player was being given special privileges to break dance during the halftime show. Reid told them to be quiet because Travis is a better player than them and is special because he dates the world’s biggest entertainment star of all time.
The unprecedented Super Bowl half-time show and Olympics event will be enhanced by another group of high-profile athletes.
Crazily charismatic University of Colorado football leader Coach Prime announced today that his team has forfeited the rest of the season – having lost four of its last five games — to build the team’s brand by break-dancing at these two high-profile sporting events.
“I got a bunch of five stars coming in next year and we’re going to be unstoppable so I figured it would be better for attracting more great players by participating in break dancing events at the Super Bowl and Olympics,” pumped Prime. “We need more eyeballs following our players and program so we get every single five-star high school player and current college player who wants to transfer to play for our University of Colorado squad. Building an indestructible football force is all about publicity, branding, making money, wearing gold necklaces, rocking shakes, and break dancing. Our players performing in this way before hundreds of millions of people will be a perfect money-maker and talent magnet for our soon-to-be unbeatable program.”
Right now it’s not clear how Kelce’s break dancing will be choreographed with the Colorado football players, but no one’s too concerned with those details.
“Break dancing is about breaking down paradigms, free-wheeling and free-thinking,” said Coach Prime. “We don’t care how Kelce break dances. We’re about winning college football national titles. We comin’.”
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