Promise

Promise: No More Teasing You About Wake Forest Football

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There your cool self was, at your high school dance.

She was with you, making you feel she dug you, that gorgeous girl. The two of you slow dance to Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”

You walked her home. Everything she did suggested this was going to be the great night of your life, the way she talked, her gait, her eyes melting your heart. It was all lining up.

But at her front door, nothing. Not even a goodnight kiss.

You felt teased. You were teased. And not pleased.

By my Baby Boomer Brotherhood lead analyst, I have been accused of being this kind of tease about the Wake Forest football team.

Overselling it, overhyping it, making you believe they’re got a shot at winning the ACC championship, and writing blogs about the greatness of their coach, quarterback, and delayed run-pass option mesh offensive scheme.

Sending way too many unwanted emails. Posting idiotic blogs and cringeworthy photos. Cluttering your life. Disrupting your days in so many ways. Getting you unnecessarily drawn into the glory-filled possibilities for this year’s team.

I’m sorry. It’s been wrong. I’ve shown I’m tone-deaf and lack empathy and can’t read social cues. I promise to never tease you about this football team again.

Instead, all I’m going to do is draw up a realistic word picture of what’s likely to happen in the team’s remaining four games. This is what you should expect: a full-on pursuit of breaking all football turnover records. The strategy, let’s call it the delayed run-pass option turnover (DRPOT), will be to commit one more turnover than the previous game to reach these final games of this season.

So for instance against NC State this weekend Wake Forest will turn the ball over nine times to exceed the eight it committed against Louisville. That would be 17 in two weeks (8 + 9 = 17) and set the all-time NCAA record for most turnovers in two consecutive games.

The following Saturday when Carolina rolls into Winston-Salem, you’re going to see a unique chant similar in concept but different in content than the one you’re used to at Truist Field when the students on one side yell “Wake” and the alumni on the other chant “Forest.”

Riffing off that, the students will scream “10” and the alumni will scream “turnovers.”

“Ten.”

“Turnovers.”

Repeated 10 times.

This will inspire our team to start dropping the ball and throwing it to the other team right from the start instead of waiting until the third quarter. The team will strive for a nice balance of five fumbles (two run back for touchdowns) and five interceptions (two run back for touchdowns).

The following Saturday Syracuse will come to our stadium and the same basic ritual will play off with only one change: the number of turnovers.

Students: “Eleven.”

Alumni: “Turnovers.”

Rinse and repeat 11 times.

This will all build to a crescendo over at Duke for the season finale.

Students: “Twelve.”

Alumni: “Turnovers.”

The team will have turned the ball over 50 times in the last five games, an average of 10 per game, and setting all kinds of NCAA records.

How’s that for a goodnight kiss?

Sammy Sportface

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Sammy Sportface

Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here: Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
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Author Profile

Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:

Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out

Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page

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