Many of you may remember your excursions in January 2008 to watch Wake Forest play in Miami in the Orange Bowl. At the time it had become the most special football season and event any of us had ever experienced rooting for Wake Forest.
Thousands of Wake Forest fans filled the stadium parking lot. Grills upon grills upon grills fired up the ribs and other assorted meats. I saw Wake Forest friends I hadn’t seen in over 20 years that day. It was an absolutely spectacular, believed to be a once-in-a-lifetime rally.
At the time I remember many of us saying there would never be another get-together like that one because the likelihood of Wake Forest having as great a season like that one seemed improbable.
Life surprises us sometimes.
Here we are 13 years later, and we have another team doing marvelous and magical things on the football field. We’re on the verge of experiencing another one of those monumental football tailgates in Charlotte a week from this Saturday.
Except this one will be even more spectacular.
This gathering will be bigger, more rambunctious, more zealous, and wilder than the Orange Bowl Blow Out we all indulged in 13 years ago in that Miami parking lot.
There will be moon bounces for the kids and beautiful booze for the adults and Bojangles chicken by the truckload for chicken lovers. Rex and Reiman and Silly Willy Reynolds and Gregggg Reynolds and Fireball Frizz and Jeff Cole and Jody and Woody Vann and Pistol and Greenie and T.O. will be there.
There will be circus acts such as the one where the man slides to the base of a rocket then gets shot into the sky. This dude will get launched from the Charlotte football stadium parking lot clear across the state and beyond to the shores of Hilton Head, South Carolina.
George Foreman will be Chief Griller in charge of burning up the goat meats, ribs, bratwurst, and spicy sausage. He’ll wheel up 437 jumbo grills the day before the game.
Jugglers will flip around nerf footballs. The Demon Deacon will glad-hand everybody, hug all the cheerleaders, and make voodoo signs at the Pitt Panther.
Sammy Sportface will expand the tentacles of his new Sammy’s Sammies business by rolling out the new Liverwurst Sammy drenched in mayo and pickle juice.
Jordan Spieth will show up with his new baby, Sammy, and tell Sportface he named his son Sammy after Sammy Sportface because he likes Sammy’s blogs. Spieth will try the new Liverwurst Sammy and tell Sportface it’s the best Sammie Sportface has ever made even more delicious than the Squid Sammy Sportface introduced two weeks ago.
Bill Walton will show up at the tailgate and won’t be able to contain himself: “This is by far the greatest football tailgate in the history of humankind, better than my favorite ever Grateful Dead Concert. We’ve got such a feeling of togetherness right here in this parking lot, such a communal feeling of oneness with nature and the sky and the trees and the animals and the meats on the grill. I’m so excited I wanna go kiss George Foreman on his bald head.”
Walton will go over the give Foreman a big smacker on his gigantic bald dome.
There will be Mike Elkins at the tailgate and Muggsy Bogues and Chuck Kepley and Rusty Larue and Gary Schofield and Riley Skinner is a Winner.
Sammy Swank will show up at the tailgate.
“Hey Sportface, did you name yourself after me?”
“Sure did, Swanky. Ever since that 2007 season when you were gold on every field goal I’ve idolized you and lionized the name, Sammy. Sammy Sportface worships Sammy Swank.”
During half-time of the game, the Wake Forest band will spell Sammy Sportface like the Ohio State band spells Ohio. The stadium crowd will chant vociferously “Sportface, Sportface, Sportface.”
This party will start at 6 am Saturday morning and go all morning, afternoon and evening. There will be Fireball Frizz shots for everybody all day long. Need a shot? Hit up Fireball Frizz anytime you want. He’ll bring enough for thousands of Wake Forest fans to shoot down any time they want during this unmatched football extravaganza.
DJ will be there talking his smack. Spars will be there doing his podcast. Brods will show up and Snake Stabler and Zucca and Guma and all the Sig Eps and Theta Chis and Kappa Sigs and KAs and Pikas and Thymes and Sophs and Lynx. There will be a fireworks show at night after the victory with sparks dropping from the sky.
All will gather together to celebrate this Wake Forest football phantasmagoria. All of us partying once again like it’s 2008.
Once again united yet determined to take this party into the stratosphere never before imagined in the history of football tailgates. It’s all going to happen. The biggest and best football tailgate in the history of football tailgates. Yes, you read that right.
Buy your plane tickets. Clear your schedules. Cancel dinner plans. Hire babysitters. Tell everybody you’ve got something important you’ve gotta do in Charlotte a week from Saturday.
It’s going to be colossal.
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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