0
0
Raven Sanders likes to rock masks when she heaves the shot put. It’s a winning formula. Yesterday the green- and purple-haired athlete wrapped around her head a creepy forest green mask with gigantic white teeth. The look inspired her to a Silver Medal in the Olympics.
In other competitions, she’s worn masks of Frankenstein, the Joker in Batman, the Creature from the Black Lagoon, Shock Monster, ET, and Herman Munster.
“I like to go all Halloween and freak out my opponents,” she says. “Being a freak gets my freak on. I heave the shot put further when I look like a weird monster. And my opponents get so distracted they don’t’ throw the shot put as far. They’re more concerned with how weird I’m acting. It’s a win-win for me, masks, and monsters.”
After her Silver Medal victory, she twerked for the crowd.
“Twerking with a wildass mask on global TV is a trip,” she said. “It’s the new normal. Time for a new set of values across the globe.”
The International Olympic Committee is actively encouraging athletes to wear crazy masks during their competitions as a way of drawing more eyeballs to their TV sets.
“Now that swimming is over – the most popular Olympics event by far – we’re gonna struggle to keep people watching track and field and other bogus Olympic events,” said Thomas Boch, the IOC president. “These masks will keep people watching. The scarier and more outrageous the masks, the better as far as I’m concerned. Advertising money is all I care about.”
The U.S. Olympic team has already issued a news release about the mask plans for the men’s 4 by 100 relay.
Each runner will wear a different mask. The lead-off will go with a double-headed Herman Munster look. The second guy will rock the Andre the Giant look. Third will be Frankenstein’s Wife. And fourth will be Raven Sanders in the creepy green and huge white teeth look.
“We gotta go with Raven’s ugly green mask for our anchor leg,” said the head of US track and field team, Tony Track. “She won the silver in the shot put wearing it, so we feel that’ll give us good karma.”
If the team wins, all four plan to bend over next to each other and twerk for the NBC cameras.
Author Profile
-
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
Latest entries
ACCMarch 24, 2025From Boyhood to Old Man, Still a Terps Fan
NBAMarch 8, 2025What Joker Did Last Night Can’t Be Understood
BonusFebruary 28, 2025It’s Official/Inevitable: AI Takes Over Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog
BonusFebruary 25, 2025On My Living Room Mantel: Framed Photo of Caitlin Clark
