From various crevices in America, regardless of what opposing views their spouses or current significant others have, card-carrying members of the Sammy Sportface Baby Boomer Brotherhood will be flocking — like geese on boardwalk fries — to Bethany Beach, Delaware on July 17th. That’s the official date of the Whit of Wall Street Booze Crooze.
Led by Captain Whit Jordan Belfore, the boat boondoggle will be a colossal waste of time in the polluted waters of Bethany Beach Bay. Captain Whit’s 127-foot yacht will be stacked with fungus-infected caviar, rotten lobsters, and smelly fish heads. Plus several thousand Orange Crushes and Shirley Temples.
The list of participants is expanding beyond the predictable Veith/O’Boyle vortex to include several highly controversial additions such as Lal Heneghan, Charlie Leasure, and Spoog. All three went to Georgetown Prep, became mega-millionaires, boss everybody around, and truly believe they’re special members of society.
Rocking their all-encompassing condescending attitudes, these Prep boys will intensify the spewing of interpersonal venom all over everybody. Guys will not be getting along.
Those problems will build to a crescendo with a premeditated boat crash.
“I’m gonna throttle that yacht up to over 155 miles an hour so that when we crash the whole thing bursts into a thousand pieces and Sportface goes flying in the polluted waters head first,” said the Whit of Wall Street.
“The whole purpose of this event is to rattle Sportface so much that he stops writing stupid-ass blogs about his old friends that nobody reads.”
Tommy Day, Tommy Haley, Tommy Ugast, Tommy Enzler, and Tommy Navin have all RSVP’d yes to the event.
So has Frank Ryan.
“I’m gonna prove during this Crooze that I’m funnier than Tommy Haley,” said Frank. “For years people have been telling me I’m funny but not as funny as Tommy Haley.”
“I’m the funniest guy in the history of Washington, D.C.,” said Haley. “Frank learned all his jokes from me.”
Rudy, who has been pushing to nail down a date for this event so it suits his busy calendar, has already declared that he’s going to Ed on the whole event.
“No way I’m showing up for that frickathon,” said Rudy. “Nothing I love better than getting Sportface to pump up everybody into a frenzy about some event and then, not show up. I used to do this kind of crap to Sportface all the time growing up. Sportface never learns. What an ass.”
To be continued…
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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