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It’s the middle of the night as the caravan heads east towards Kiln, Mississippi. From the Wienermobile, Sammy Sportface calls Brett Favre in the Beverly Hillbillies car.
“Brett, I know you cut that deal with Roger Goddess to do the Big Toss event against Rodgers during the half-time show of the Super Bowl,” said Sportface. “We need to tell Goddess that The Fez rock band will be playing during the half-time show also.”
“Who are the Fez?” asks Favre.
“They play great rock music classics from the 1970s and 80s,” said Sportface. “They’ll rock the Super Bowl crowd out of their minds. Great tunes.”
“Like what?”
“Luca’s Mom, Slide by the Goo Goo Dolls, Sweet Caroline by Neal Diamond, Norwegian Wood by the Beatles, Short Skirt Long Jacket by Cake, you know, the usual rockin’ tunes from the 70s and 80s.”
Here’s a sample of their new hit single:
“Sounds like a great idea,” says Favre. “While I heave footballs out of Tampa Stadium the fans will get to hear these cool tunes by the Fez.”
Favre calls Goddess with Sportface conferenced in.
“Need to have the Fez play at the Super Bowl halftime show,” says Favre.
“Need a bigger name like Bon Jovi or Ted Nugent,” says Goddess.
“Hey Goddess, if you don’t let the Fez play I’ll post all sorts of blogs about you smoking weed with Ricky Williams and Frankie Avalon,” says Sportface. “The Fez play better tunes than Jovi and Nuge and will turn the crowd into a madhouse of joy.”
“You already outed me for that all over the Sammy Sportface Facebook Page,” says Goddess.
“Yeah, but I’ll take the story to NGSCSports and they get 1 million views a month. You’ll take a big hit to your reputation and have to step down from your $20 million a year job.”
“You blackmailing me, Sportface?”
“Yup. My boys from the Fez will rock the Tampa Bay crowd into a Fezny. After the show, they’ll lose interest in the game and race out of the stadium afterward and swim nude in the Atlantic Ocean. The stadium will be empty for the entire second half.”
“Why is no one watching the second half a good thing?”
“Because the nude swimming will be an international story with the most publicity ever generated by a Super Bowl,” said Sportface. “Hundreds of years from now, they’ll be talking about the time the Fez half time show got the crowd so fired up they stripped off all their clothes and swam nude.”
“Did I hear the word nude,” asks Bruce Jenner, who was listening in as he sat next to Favre in the Beverly Hillbillies automobile.
Jenner, who was once the Olympic Decathlete champion, is now a woman named Caitlyn. He/she floats this idea on the call.
“Hey Goddess, we’ve now got The Fez and the Big Toss. I think we could put the Super Bowl halftime show over the top if we had me in a wedding dress as who I am, Caitlyn Jenner, having a wedding ceremony with Dennis Rodman who will also be in a wedding dress. It’ll be the most spectacular Super Bowl halftime show of all time.”
“I like it,” says Goddess. “The NFL needs to blow away the minds of its fans. I’m all in as long as Sportface doesn’t reveal how much I love to smoke pot and I get to swim nude in the ocean with the fans.”
“We can do Goddess swimming nude,” says Sportface.
Sportface places a call to the public relations, social media, marketing, and general manager of The Fez based in Sag Harbor, New York.
“Got you to the Super Bowl half-time show gig,” says Sportface.
“We’ll only agree if we get to open and close with ‘Luca’s Mom,” says The Fez leader. “It’s a great idea and the crowd will love it. We need Luca’s Mom on stage to walk by as we sing it. She needs to be wearing a wedding dress and get married to Rodman and Caitlyn during half time. We demand a three-some wedding as we sing Luca’s Mom or the deal is off.”
To be continued…
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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