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The two richest guys in sports, Patrick Mahomes and the Greek Freak continue to bounce around what behemoth blockbuster assets to buy together with all the bountiful riches they secured this year.
It’s a casual setting for such lofty thinking. They’re tossing small sacks of sands onto slanted wooden boards in a laid back corn hole game during the tailgate at the Super Dome.
“Let’s buy Asia and Africa,” says Mahomes.
“Cool and let’s buy some other huge places that start with the letter A like Antarctica and Alaska,” said the Freak. “Fits with my last name that starts with A and is spelled Annatapoopo.”
“Makes sense,” says Mahomes. “An asset strategy with a hook: buying things that begin with the letter A. I bought the Atlantic Ocean awhile back so it all fits.”
His mind keeps turning. He envisions a corporate play.
“Let’s buy Apple and Amazon,” said Mahomes.
“What are we gonna do with Apple?” asked Freak.
“Buy 100 iPhone 12s for Christmas,” said Mahomes. “Watch YouTube videos of us signing our contracts.”
“What about Amazon?” asked Freak.
“We’ll set up a new operation in Greece. You’ll be the owner of that business,” he said.
“But what about basketball? I have to play for the Bucks in the U.S.”
“Don’t worry, all your business will have to do is deliver packages to everybody in Greece three times a day. That’s the business. You just have to hire hundreds of people to drive gray vans around the country dropping off boxes everywhere they go. The business will run itself and you’ll quadruple your investment every six months. Jeff Bezos will send you dividend checks worth millions every month.”
“What are you doing with the Atlantic?” asks Freak.
“Just watch its value go up,” he said. “The Atlantic Ocean is one of those solid investments. It’s never going away – until the world ends and it may even outlast the world. It’ll always keep becoming more valuable as the world’s surface area becomes more ocean dominant. Continental drift and global warming stuff. The ocean’s a good buy these days.”
Freak likes the plan but has one concern: Buying Antarctica doesn’t sit well with him.
“I don’t see the upside of buying Antarctica,” he said. “No one even knows where it is.”
He asks Stephen A., who has been watching the corn hole game and taking notes, where Antarctica is.
“Give me your bling, damnit,” said Stephen A. “Ain’t got no time to actually in actuality talk no asinine Antarctica. Give me some bling, damnit. Ain’t kiddin’ around.”
Freak gives Stephen A. one of the six golf necklaces.
Brett Favre strolls up.
“Time to get out of here,” he says. “Superdome tailgate’s officially over. We’re headed to Kiln, Mississippi, my hometown. Drivin’ all night. The Ethiopian barefoot guy, Rocky, Butkis, Forrest Gump, and the Chariots of Fire guys will run. Tomorrow we’ve got some ol’ country huntin’ and grillin’ to do during our stopover in Kiln on our road trip to the Super Bowl.”
George Senior heaves his grills into the Wienermobile.
Tom Brady pulls aside Sammy Sportface. He needs to promote goat meat as a leading product in his TB12 branding campaign.
“I’m the GOAT,” says Brady. “And I’m promoting TB12 goat meat. Need your help spreading the word. I need you to post a blog about my GOAT meat on your Sammy Sportface Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog.”
“Consider it done,” says Sportface.
The caravan lines up and readies to cruise out of the Superdome parking lot.
Bruce Jenner notices Favre in his Wrangler Jeans.
“Mind if I ride with you, Mississippi?” asks Jenner.
“You’re an Olympic Decathlon Gold Medal Winner,” says Mississippi. “That’s cool. We can talk about what that was like and what you ended up doing with the rest of your life. Hop in.”
“Only a guy like Brett Favre could make this happen, I mean, boom, Bruce Jenner wants to ride with him and he’s actually, I mean, a woman now named Caitlin Jenner,” said John Madden. “There just aren’t many guys like, boom, Brett Favre, who could I mean I mean make something like this, riding with Bruce Jenner who is now Caitlyn Jenner, happen.”
Bruce sits in the backseat next to Mississippi. Jethro drives and his dad Jethro rides shotgun carrying his gun.
Onto the interstate, the caravan rolls headed east towards Kiln, population 2,600.
To be continued…
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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