Day One of PGA — A Ball and Club Buster

Day One of PGA — A Ball and Club Buster

Ball busting and breaking other things were in the San Francisco air today during the first round of the PGA Major Tournament Golf Tournament.

John Rahm sprayed a tee shot onto the cart path on the sixth hole today. He then took another swing at the Golf Channel microphone next to the tee.

Smash. Busted property. He’s leading the Tour in anger management issues.

Bryson DeBosworth swung at a tee shot so hard that the head of his driver severed from the shaft.

Then in the presser after his round, Brooks Katy Koepka broke DeBosworth’s balls by saying there’s no need to be scientific when playing golf. DeBoz brings a gaggle of hard sciences to every round he plays including astronomy, physics, agronomy, and astrology, and geology.

“I was hoping DeBoz would swing so hard with his replacement driver that he broke that one too,” said Koepka, who posted a 66 and is one shot off the lead. “What’s he gonna do if runs out of drivers? Drink more protein shakes? Get out his physics manuals?”

Brooks brought this heat just one day after agreeing to beat up DeBoz along with Rahm. But that fight got out of hand because Rahm lost his temper and started swinging his club at everybody indiscriminately.

“I am so pissed off,” he said last night before his opening round. “If I hit one drive on the cart path tomorrow I’m going to smash one of those Golf Channel microphones.”

The Golf Channel’s technical crew said they had an extra microphone and replaced it after Rahm shattered it. It was more or less the same procedure after DeBoz broke his driver and had one of his underlings go get him another one from the back of his car filled with physics manuals and protein shake cookbooks.

“If I broke another driver, I would have been as angry as John Rahm gets after he hits tee shots onto car paths,” said DeBoz. “But I’m afraid of that guy. You should have seen him swinging his club at me during our pre-tournament fight. I thought I was a nutcase. But he’s more off the rails than me.”

The tournament’s first day had other intriguing subplots. Tommy Fleetwood Mac played “You Can Go Your Own Way” in the clubhouse after his round. Tiger Woods talked about the good old days when he had many relationships with different people.

Ian Polter said he’s proud that he looks like Rod Stewart because the rock star created one of the greatest songs of all time 300 years ago, Maggie Mae.

Ricky Fowler talked about how much he enjoys being around his girlfriend and how he has lost some of his desire to be the world’s number one player because she has helped him see that there are more important things in life. See for yourself:

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