You may have thought the six New England Patriots players who opted out of the Fall 2020 football season did so because of concerns about catching the coronavirus.
The truth is they are a part of an inside-the-NFL scam. Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady brokered an under-the-table deal to get all six of these players on his team so he can win another Super Bowl.
He picked up linebacker Dont’a Hightower and safety Patrick Chung, two stars for the Patriots. The other four players don’t matter.
Hightower would have made $6 million for the Patriots had he played this Fall. He will make twice as much — $12 million – this Fall for the Buccaneers. Brady will pay the entire $12 million.
“I don’t care what it costs, I will do anything to win another Super Bowl and prevent Bill Belch from winning one,” said Brady. “His team is falling apart before our eyes. I stole six of his players while convincing the league they just didn’t want to catch the coronavirus. The truth is Sammy Sportface is the only guy in the sports media out knows what’s really going on. He’s got it right: I stole these guys from Belch and you can bet right now feels like belching.”
Coach Belch was reached on his boat off the Atlantic Coast near his beachfront mansion in Nantucket, New England.
“Knock it off, Sportface,” he said. “You’re always making up stuff about my team and this has been going on since the pandemic started. I’ve had enough of you reporting on my private life and dope-smoking with Ricky Williams. A man needs his privacy once in a while. I’m on my boat getting away from nuisances like you.”
“But Belch, it sure looks like Brady stole these players from you,” said Sportface. “He even admitted as much. How can you win another Super Bowl losing your key players as the Bucs stockpile talent.”
“The NFL season is toast, Sportface. It’s not going to happen. I’ve got plenty of time to cheat between now and the kickoff to the 2021 season.”
“But what about Cam Newton and his weird videos in which he brags about how hard he’s working in the offseason to get ready to play quarterback for the Patriots? This is just the kind of behavior you can’t stand. Are you really going to allow this guy to be on your team?”
“I’ll cut him in the blink of an eye if he steps out of line one more time. Cutting guys is my secret sauce and unique selling point. It’s why I’ve won six Super Bowls. I’m ruthless and don’t care about any players’ feelings.”
“So when are you going to cut Cam?”
“I already did earlier today.”
Sportface hung up and posted a breaking news story on NGSCSports.com. The headline came out twisted: “Pats Fig Newton As Belichick Belches on Bodacious Boat Boondoggle.”
To be continued…
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page