Tom Brady, the greatest quarterback in NFL history, has completed another forward pass by investing in NASCAR. The CEO of TB12 Racing will field a five-car super team and the logo will be emblazoned on all five vehicles.
Brady’s investment aims to promote his “TB12” brand while helping revitalize NASCAR from its difficulties entertaining and retaining fans.
The future Hall of Fame quarterback recently signed to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers after winning six Super Bowls with the New England Patriots.
TB12 instantly becomes the biggest name in racing and the only five-car team, one more than the quartet of NASCAR cars owned each by Joe Gibbs Racing, Hendrix Motorsports, and Stewart-Haas Racing.
Under this deal, TB12 Racing has reached car number agreements with Stewart-Haas Racing for the right to #4, Roush Racing for the #6, and Penske Motorsports for the #12.
Brady says he wants a #6 car to remind everybody he is the only quarterback to win six Super Bowl titles and a #4 for the number of Super Bowls he plans to win in Tampa Bay.
“That would give me a perfect 10 Super Bowls and no doubt be more than Patriots coach Bill Belch will ever win,” he said.
In a recent exclusive interview with Sammy Sportface, Brady admitted bad blood boils between him and Belch because Belch believes he – not Brady – deserves more credit for the six titles.
The remaining two car numbers will be #87 and #420.
“87 is Rob Gronkowski’s number, and he’s going to be my favorite receiving target in helping me win more Super Bowls in Tampa Bay,” said Brady from his Tampa Bay backyard swimming pool and mansion rented from Derek Jeter.
“And 420 has become the national code word for consuming cannabis,” he added. “As a businessman and brand builder, I know cannabis is the fastest-growing consumable in America and therefore a perfect fit for generating revenues for TB12 Racing and NASCAR.”
Tom Brady has also hired NFL pariah, and his recent new friend, Antonio Brown, to float a psychedelic air balloon above NASCAR events. The balloon will provide exciting new TV pictures and drop items to teams and fans.
Drop the Rag Racing rags, for example, will be heaved off the balloon for wiping coronavirus off the driver’s dashboards and steering wheels. Brown may also crash the air balloon in the infield when the races get monotonous.
“I learned from studying the great Humpy Wheeler that NASCAR is nothing without excited fans and that is what T12 Racing plans to deliver,” said Brady.
The TB12 balloon usurps the Goodyear Blimp, which has traditionally hovered over NASCAR events to show aerial shows of the races and fans covering their ears because the races are unbearably loud.
“The TB12 brand will bring a well-oiled winning formula to NASCAR,” said Brady. “Fans have been abandoning the sport in droves because the races are boring and ticket prices are steep. To spark more fan engagement, my branding program will deliver new and unusual things going on, and wild things to eat and drink.”
Concession stands will sell the “TBelch Burger,” the newly created fast food sandwich that ridicules Brady’s former coach, Bill Belch Belichick.
To wash down the burger, patrons will be able to order a TB12 Moonshine Milkshake, conjuring up memories of the legendary Junior Johnson and his cronies. They excelled at setting up fast cars for moonshine bootleggers to outrun the law before parlaying those same ideas to the nascent sport of stock car racing.
“Today’s announcement is a checkered flag victory for NASCAR,” said Steve O’Donnell, the organization’s executive vice president. “NASCAR gets to be associated with the sports world’s biggest star as our premier owner. Gotta love Brady owning the #10 car to predict he will win four more Super Bowls, reminiscent of Joe Willie Namath predicting the New York Jets would win Super Bowl III.”
To land Tom Brady, NASCAR had to break its rule that owners could own up to four cars but not five or more.
“NASCAR rules are in a constant state of flux and have gotten too complicated,” he said. “This organization is committed to doing whatever it takes to get fans back in the seats.”
On May 17 NASCAR will hold its first race since the coronavirus shut down the sport in March. The event will take place at the Darlington Raceway in South Carolina.
To be continued…
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