America’s leading car-racing organization, NASCAR, has released six new full-time 2020 sponsors to align with the coronavirus pandemic, energize the bored sport’s fans, and reverse widespread revenue declines.
“We’ve decided to ensure NASCAR sets the pace on the sports sponsorship front to address the new abnormal world caused by the pandemic and to re-engage fans who are leaving us left and right,” said Steve O’Donnell, the organization’s executive vice president. “These sponsors address current safety caused by the crisis and inject some much-needed freshness and creativity into our sport.”
NASCAR is unveiling these new developments two weeks before the sport’s re-starts on May 17th after the pandemic stopped all races in March. That first NASCAR event will be the 642-kilometer death match at Darlington Raceway –also known as “The Track Too Tough to Tame” — with several other events to follow soon thereafter.
All races, until further notice, will be held behind closed doors with no fans allowed to attend.
New 2020 Sponsors
Speedy Swabs: These are products engineered to test drivers and crew pit members for the coronavirus at supersonic speeds. Mandatory Covid-19 driver tests will be required during all pit crew tire changes using Speedy Swabs.
Within three-fourths of a second, the cotton swabbing gets automatically executed. Then the drivers’ tests get downloaded through a wireless network in the Center for Disease Control computer database, and the rider can then get back in the race.
Drop the Rag Racing: Avid NASCAR fans know that “drop the rag” refers to dropping the green flag to start the race. Before every race, new sponsor, Drop the Rag Racing, will drop rags, decorated with “Drop the Rag Racing – Covid 19” insignia, from a mini-blimp hovering over the starting line.
Drenched with disinfectants, pit crews will catch the rags and wipe potential coronavirus germs off the driver’s hands, dashboards, and steering wheels before the drivers start their engines.
“Just like washing hands is crucial during the pandemic, so is dropping the rag on the car interiors to make sure the virus doesn’t spread inside the cars and get our drivers sick,” said the CEO of Drop the Rag Racing.
Motor Masks: To coincide with the waving of different colored flags from the flag stand throughout the race, new sponsor Motor Masks will provide different-colored Covid-19 masks for pit crews and, eventually, fans, to help signal drivers on what to do.
Black masks will be worn for individual driver penalties, yellow masks for cautions, and the rare red masks for race suspensions.
And the simultaneous action of everyone at the track donning a white mask and then checkered mask on the last lap and finish will allow fans to feel a part of the action and provide great TV images from the mini-blimp.
“We think changing masks throughout the race will make the whole event less boring to watch,” said the CEO of Motor Masks. “Our company is bored with NASCAR, and we felt we could try to save this organization by making these different types of masks. Given the declining popularity of NASCAR nationwide, we figure anything to make the sport more entertaining is worth a shot.”
Slow the Spread Shock Absorbers: This company provides social distancing shock absorbers for shoe soles that will help slow the spread of the coronavirus.
Whenever drivers, pit crew, or fans get within six feet of anyone else walking at the race, the shock absorbers generate a vibration feeling in their feet. This will remind everyone that they need to keep at least six feet away to slow the spread of Covid-19.
Vinny’s Ventilators: A New Jersey-based manufacturing conglomerate, Vinny’s Ventilators, will make ventilators available for drivers and crew pit members who may have difficulty breathing due to excessive inhalation of mass quantities of gasoline and oil fumes.
“We figured NASCAR gas and oil fumes are tough on everybody’s lungs,” said the CEO of Vinny’s Ventilators. “So we found another market for all the extra ventilators we manufactured that are not being used.”
Charmin Chevrolet: This world-leading manufacturer of bathroom tissue is unspooling its promotional dollars into NASCAR. Fans watching races on TV, drivers, and pit crew members at the track will gain the peace of mind that no matter where they are, their toilet paper needs will be taken care of.
“It’s no secret that toilet paper demand has been running high in recent months,” said Charmin Chevrolet’s CEO. “Let me put all minds at ease: No one should feel angst that there is not enough toilet paper at the racetrack or in their homes. The track Port-A-Johns will be stocked to the rooftops with Charmin Chevrolet bathroom tissue and re-stocked four times a day.”
NASCAR’s top executive, O’Donnell, echoed those sentiments: “These new NASCAR sponsors align with our strategy to make the sport safe and to slow the spread of the coronavirus. Most importantly, there will be towers teeming with toilet paper for anybody and everybody day and night.”