New Tampa Bay Dragons quarterback Tom Brady has broadened his much-ballyhooed “TB” branding campaign to encompass bikinis, air balloons, and bugs.
Today at a swanky beach club in Tampa Bay, the six-time Super Bowl champion unveiled the TBundchen bikini line. Named in honor of his supermodel wife, Gisele Bundchen, the TB logo will appear on the back left and right cheeks of the bikini bottoms.
The top part of the bikinis will match the new colors of the Tampa Bay Dragons, orange and blue. The lower part will be emerald city green.
“Emerald city green is that shining place on the hill sort of like the lower part of the TBundchen,” said Brady. “As part of this deal, I am making it mandatory that the TBundchen be worn by all women to all the home games and all the hundreds of miles of beaches along Florida’s Gulf Coast.”
A second branding initiative builds on a questionable trend TB ignited several years ago when he wore women’s UGG boots. He’s building on that momentum with a new line of these boots called the “TBUGG.” The fugly boots will be sold with bugs inside the shoes such as slugs and cockroaches.
“TBUGGs will be a big hit with the Tampa Bay crowd that likes to deep-sea fish,” said Brady. “They can use the bugs as bait on their fishing lines.”
Readers of this Sportface blog will recall that over the past several weeks Brady has been flying around the United States on an air balloon piloted by Antonio Brown.
The balloon crashed into the Daytona Beach ocean during Spring Break. Brady, Brown, Roger Goodell, Ricky Williams, and Drew Bledsoe swam from the crash site to the shore and partied for several days to celebrate Brady’s signing with Tampa Bay to play QB this Fall.
During this unthinkable odyssey, Brady has become close to AB, who played on his Patriots team for a week last season. TB grew so intrigued by air balloons that he has cut a deal to include the TB-ABalloon logo on all air balloons that AB creates in his newfound entrepreneurial venture.
“AB’s got a flair for piloting and crashing air balloons in the Atlantic Ocean,” said TB. “This logo should jumpstart AB’s business much better than his attempts to play in the NFL. My bad boy AB alienated the entire league last season.”
Still bitter at Belichick for cutting him from the Patriots, TB has found a way to leverage his brand while sticking it to his former coach. Brady is branding the TBelch Burger that will be sold at all Dragons games.
“Fans will be encouraged to belch after eating these burgers as a gesture of disrespect to Belichick,” said Brady. “I would have to say of all these new branding initiatives, my favorite is the TBelch Burger because it encapsulates my true feelings about Belichick.
“It will fill me with TBliss to see and hear this ongoing, stadium-wide belch that he has to listen and hear about the rest of his career. Good riddance, TBelchicheck.”
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