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Tantalizing Terminology Torments Winter Olympics Fans
The tantalizing and twisted terminology used at the Winter Olympics is
tormenting fans.
In skating, we’re hearing about the Triple SoCal (Southern
California), the quadruple Utz Potato Chip jump, and “popping” (it
sort of means bailing out on a triple jump and only doing a double or
single). If you pop a jump, you’re a fraidy cat. We’re hearing about
the triple toe loop de doop, which is hard to get your head around
because toes don’t typically loop but rather just extend from peoples’
feet. The terms figure skating and free skating don’t even seem to be
well defined. Are they the same words for the same thing? And how long
is the “short program” versus the “long program” and what’s the
difference?
In snowboarding, there is the 1420 “Risk it for the Biscuit,” which
means trying to flip four or five times and then landing on the
snowboard standing up (1420 divided by 360 is about 4). The numbers
are so big and uneven and tough for the mathematically challenges to
grasp. They talk about 1260s and 720s and 1480s and you find yourself
trying to do multiplication in your head to figure out “OK, 1 time
around is 360, so how many times around would a 1480 be? Meanwhile,
the race is going on. You have to be reminded of your math ineptitude
and it takes away from enjoying the race. Why don’t they just say two,
three or four flips? Why the mind-numbing numbers to make us all have
to think too hard while watching snowboarding, which is supposed to be
relaxing and all chilled out.
In speed skating, it’s all about the Spiderman/Riddler outfits. As they
skate you only see the body suit and their heads rounded off by their
caps. You can’t tell what the person looks like until after the race
when they take their caps off. All you know for sure is they have
Texas-size thighs. There is one term that dominates speed skating:
NED. It’s an abbreviation for The Netherlands. In skating they rule
the world. At these Games, they’re hauling in Gold medals galore.
In skiing, the term Super G gets used a lot. It’s one of the long races
down the side of a mountain at 70 miles per hour. But what does the
“G” stands for: gigantic (slope…the slope of a line equals mc squared).
Other possible words that G stands for, listed from most likely to
least likely, are: G-Forces, Go For It, Gee This Race is Scary, and
Goliath.
The thing about skiing (sp?) is that so many of the races kind of seem
the same. The slalom is a ski down a big mountain too, just like the
Super G, right? What is the slalom and how is it different from the
Super G? Gee, I don’t know. And how come the skiers have to go around
some of the red and blue flags but not all? Do they get to choose
which ones they will go around? Does it vary by skier or nationality?
Last night I was watching the Super G and the NBC analyst, Bode
Miller talked about the skiers’ aerodynamics. What does this mean?
Are they like aero planes flying down the mountain? Never in my life
have I heard the term aerodynamics used in the context of skiing –
until yesterday.
Of all the terms being used, my favorite is either “Risk it for the
Biscuit,” “Eggplant 360” or “Big Air.” All three terms lather up the
snowboarding venue. The Eggplant one is kind of bizarre. Eggplant is a
bad-tasting vegetable. What does that have to do with a snowboard
jump?
All terminology considered, the Winter Olympics has done a superb job
of dazzling and diluting fans with terms and words and names of races
that is either a) hard to figure out, or b) don’t make sense, or c)
are just a bunch of “Big Air.”
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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