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For quite some time now, I’ve been reflecting on whether I have ever felt more euphoria and endorphin highs than when I visit Eddie, my Endodontist.
The answer, I have come to realize, is unequivocally no.
For days and weeks, in the early hours, at midday, and at twilight, Eddie and I have been meeting up for intense summer sessions kind of like the summer lovin’ of Sandra Dee and Danny Zucco.
I open my mouth wide, he grabs a hold of his jackhammer, and starts riding it like a construction worker.
Jackhammers jolt.
I go along for the ride, feel joy from the jolt, because what Eddie does for me is energizing.
We’re having experiences together that I really can’t put into words, nor fully process, nor get out of my mind, nor fully appreciate.
This is what’s going on: Eddie Endodontist and I are having an endless summer of euphoric, enlightening, exploratory, and eerie endoscopic experiences.
“Today I got in that torn-up tooth of yours, took out my trusty ChatGPT microscope, and found a hidden canal up in there that can’t be seen with the naked eye,” he said. “Man, you wouldn’t believe what I found up in there in the nether regions of your foul-smelling and wretched-looking tooth. All kinds of rotten seaweed, soggy salad. Looked like algae. Got up in there, took my weed whacker, and shredded that gunk to smithereens. Had to bring in the local HAZMAT team – kind of like a SWAT team but different – to scurry away with that garbage.”
It was at this juncture that I felt it was obligatory that I tell Eddie I was thinking of writing something about our endless summer together.
“Write a book about this, then we’ll go on a book tour,” he said.
My mouth was full of metal gadgets: butcher knives, scissors, spatulas, and tweezers, to name a few. So I couldn’t easily say what I wanted to say, which was that I wasn’t planning to write a book – the topic has limited market potential – but that I was planning to write a blog drilling into our all we have experienced during this here epic endless summer starring four foot canals and two implants; and five cavities.
Unable to talk, I signaled with two thumbs up that I was up for exploding the blog into a full-blown book.
Once finished, I sat up: “No patient of yours has ever come in sharing with you they’re thinking about writing about their experiences coming to visit you and get jackhammered, have they, Eddie?”
“You’re the first one,” he said.
“Tell me, Eddie, how many more root canals do you think we can squeeze in this summer? Don’t you think it would be exciting to go for the summer root canal record? How about one every three days through Labor Day?”
“We’ll run out of teeth to drill,” he said.
“Let’s get creative. Let’s have you re-drill several teeth you’ve already drilled. Just take out the root canal filling, cram some seaweed up in there, and get your tools out and yank it out again.”
I could tell at this point Eddie, who was usually easy-going, was starting to feel uneasy.
“I have a sneaking suspicion you really are going to write about our endless summer together,” he said. “Keep me posted.”
Here’s the post, Eddie.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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