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Since last Fall’s WNBA season ended, Caitlin Miss Universe Clark has gone to the gym and practiced basketball skills every day at 8:00 am.
Every day.
To get better. To develop a mid-range shot. To be able to drive to her left more effectively. To sharpen all her skills: long-range shooting, dribbling, passing.
Knowing she was doing this, I have been inspired to get to Starbucks at 8:00 a.m. to write and practice my craft. I’m not as dedicated as Caitlin, but she helps me say, “If Caitlin can practice every day, so can I.” The young lady gives me hope that with disciplined repetition, I can get better at what I do. There is value in how she inspires others.
During the off-season, she didn’t have to do any of this daily drilling. Already worth many millions of dollars, she could retire right now, never play basketball again, and live well.
But that’s not her. She’s different. She’s got big goals. She’s got big ideas. As do I – your trailblazing visionary of the Baby Boomer Brotherhood.
She wants to take her already stratospheric talents to higher elevations, somewhere above Mount Everest, and the cumulus clouds, and far north of Antarctica. She wants to work so diligently at her basketball skills that she becomes the greatest female hooper who has ever lived.
When all is done with her career, she wants people to say she was better than Nikola The Joker Jokic, who is the greatest hooper ever. She hasn’t explicitly said this, but that’s what I believe she thinks about and aspires to. She wrote down that goal somewhere and hid it in a private drawer, probably.
This is how big she thinks. What she aspires to is so far beyond what any of us ever contemplates that we can’t understand her. What we don’t understand strikes us as compelling and mysterious and awesome, like when we stare at the ocean and wonder what’s underneath the water that we can’t see. It’s all unknowable. It’s all there.
In her off-season workouts, she hit the weight room hard to get stronger after getting pushed around – and assaulted – several times last season. She’s bulked up. Her biceps now bulge – a bit like Popeye the Sailor Man. So are mine, by the way, but I didn’t eat spinach like Popeye did. Fiber cereal drenched in water twice a day.
In the season opener, in which she finished with a triple-double – 20 points, 10 rebounds, 10 assists, 4 blocks, and 2 steals – she called on her improved bulk to put a hard foul on Bayou Barbie, the person more jealous of Caitlin than anyone on planet Earth.
She swatted the ball as Bayou went up for a layup, and Barbie went to the ground, broken like a doll would if you dropped it. Fuming with pent-up jealousy and vindictiveness now ongoing since high school, she got up and came at Miss America as if she was going to push or shove, or punch Miss America. What a thought! TMZ and People Magazine material.
CC walked away. Didn’t want things to escalate. She owns Bayou Barbie and knows it. Let the doll be her angry self, she thought. When asked about the scuffle, she said it was just a good, hard foul aimed at preventing Barbie Doll from making an easy layup.
The Internet exploded. Podcasters ran their mouths for hours, and the subscriber clicks went up by thousands per second.
Miss America and Barbie are fighting again – in the first game of the season. Didn’t take long for the vitriolic fluids to pour out. How long will these two be ultra-enemies? Answer: forever. Destined to always collide with each other, they trigger deep-rooted emotions across the geopolitical landscape. Enemies attract.
But – and this is salient – Barbie got her butt kicked. Her team lost by 35 points, 93-58. Wasn’t even that close. She’s never going to be as popular at CC, nor anywhere as great a player, and that irks her so much she can’t stand it.
I can stand it.
Ever since she mocked CC in the national championship game, waving her ring finger at her a few years ago, showing how jealous she is of CC to the whole world, I have thought Barbie was not a person I would want to hang out with. Jerk is the word to describe her.
Please allow this interpersonal tension to continue throughout this WNBA season – it will, whether we wish for it or not. Let’s see if Barbie went to the gym every day in the offseason to practice her basketball skills or was more preoccupied with promoting herself and beefing up her Instagram followers. Maybe she practiced harder in the offseason than CC. Doesn’t seem likely, though.
Welcome to the WNBA season.
I wonder how many times opposing jealous players will shove and cheapshot Caitlin this season, and I wonder if her bulking up muscle-wise will deter them from doing that because Miss America is stronger now and may be less easily pushed around. Will there be fights during WNBA games? I mean real fisticuffs, black eyes, and suspensions? What will this fighting say about our society? What is the morally correct thing to wish for? Is entertainment everything?
Do we want this to be another season of the “Housewives of the WNBA”? Do we want all the rancor and unbecoming behavior directed at the league’s most popular player? Do we want to see what jealousy really looks like again? Is there still an appetite for this?
It will get clicks. Nothing is more important than that.
I am open to whatever happens as long as CC keeps firing bombs from 30 feet. Yesterday, she hit a few that I’m sure no man anywhere in the world, not named Steph Curry, can make. How is it that a woman shoots the basketball better from long range than any woman?
It’s fascinating and beautiful and thrilling and beyond anything we’ve ever seen in our lives.
Miss America is back.
Our national economy and standing in the world have been restored to equilibrium.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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