
Having nothing else to do except get aroused about today’s NFC Title game, and fantasizing about what it would be like at the Motel 6 in New Orleans if the Skins win and go to the Super Bowl, I went to the civilization’s smartest and fastest thinking creature of all time, Perplexity, and pumped it with this question:
If the Commanders beat the Eagles in the NFC championship game, what are 10 reactions that Sammy Sportface is likely to have and write blogs about them?
Perplexity, which isn’t perplexed about anything and is only perplexing to people like me who are perplexed at the miracles it performs whenever prompted, spit this wisdom back:
“The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Rides Daniels’ Rocket Arm to the Big Game”
He’d probably connect Daniels’ success to his blog’s theme, celebrating how this young quarterback is exciting older fans.
This answer makes me feel de-clothed, a fraud found out. Perplexity’s written, arguably, a better headline than any Sportface has ever written with the exception of “Misery in Myrtle Beach” he wrote while spending three days in a beach condo watching Whit and Head gamble on hoops games while typing the
“Misery” blog in his boxers with no shirt on.
‘Tis perplexing a machine can write a headline more on target and emotionally charged than anything Sammy Sportface could write after so many years thrashing about in the bloviating blogosphere boondoggling on behalf of the Baby Boomer Brotherhood.
I wonder if the Brotherhood’s needs would be better served by deriving their inspiration to pursue their greatest contributions in life from Perplexity. Much more content much faster with more emotional punch. Fewer texts sent at 7 am. Less human interaction. The personal space we all crave
After the game, I’m fearful Perplexity will have plenty to deliver your way about the Skins going to their fourth Super Bowl gushing more penetrating insights than Sportface has ever brought you.
The question we are now grappling with is whether this should be the seminal moment when the Baby Boomer Brotherhood pivots away from Sportface content consumption towards Perplexity to get its coverage of the Jayden Daniels dazzling dance to the top of the NFL.
Should we unshackle ourselves from the inanities and hyperboles and extremities of Sammy Sportface’s blogging about this team he blew off for 33 years until two weeks ago when they got hot and on a Super Bowl run? This shady cat is the most shallow of all fans. If they lose tomorrow, he’ll revert to Caitlin Clark and The Joker.
Is Sammy Sportface sustainable?
Perplexity also threw out this potential story Sportface would crank out if the Skins win today:
“Kliff Kingsbury: The Offensive Guru Behind Daniels’ Meteoric Rise”
He might analyze how Kingsbury’s offensive system has maximized Daniels’ talents.
You trippin’, Perplexity. Sportface has no intention of blogging about Kingsbury’s offense if the Skins win. He’s dead set on ruminating and writing about the man’s alliterative name starting with two Ks.
Kliff Kingsbury sounds like a character in a Willie Wonka sequel. Or Captain Von Trapp’s business partner. Or the Kellogg guy who invented the next great sugar cereal and named it “Kliff Kingsbury,” the ingredients being red-handed rip-offs from Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. Or speculate Kliff Kingsbury was going to be the name of The Great Gatsby book but got shelved because The Great Kingsbury didn’t sound as memorable.
I have learned from this exercise that Perplexity could have better ideas for Sportface blogs than Sportface does, but that it also doesn’t matter because you can’t replace the human emotional, misguided, and flabbergasting fluids Sportface squirts out every Saturday morning at Starbucks to himself.
When the Skins win, he’ll write whatever he feels like that pleases him and that will be something about him wanting to develop a juicier relationship with Jayden Daniels. And there’s nothing that can be done about it.
Which is perplexing.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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