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All of you want to know – and so do I – whether this new Wake Forest football coach Jack Dickert is the answer to our longings to get this program to the College Football Playoff.
So as a holiday gift and gesture of altruism for all of you, I did some hardcore due diligence on this matter. No, I didn’t go into the stacks of the Library of Congress or the stacks in the Wake Forest library where I spent countless hours during my four years as an undergraduate there.
No, I didn’t read news clips from his Washington State days or before that coaching at far into the wilderness Wyoming.
This matter called for a more holistic research methodology, no cutting corners. Serious matters aren’t to be played around with.
So I asked ChatGPT this question and you can thank me now or later:
Will the new Wake Forest football coach, Jack Dickert, lead the Demon Deacons to the College Football Playoff?
Turns out this chatbot – which is smarter than the combined IQs of Nick Saban, Bill Belichick, Christopher Langan (IQ 195), and Sammy Sportface – exudes optimism that our new man Jack could get Wake to the Promised Land – the College Football Playoff – within three years if things break right. I’m quoting ChatGPT here:
If Wake Forest can manage to have a standout season, win the ACC, and play an efficient brand of football, they could theoretically make the College Football Playoff by the 2028 season.
Don’t know about your feelings about a prediction made by a machine, but I’m pretty pumped by the three-year prognostication. See you guys at that big game at which time ChatGPT will be in charge of all of college football, NIL payouts, bracketology, and university collectives, and will be able to manipulate our emotions about Wake Forest football in ways we can’t even fathom now.
I also was struck during my research by how over-the-top-like ChatBoy gushes about our new coach. Not sure how this would be done, but I started to wonder if our new coach hired this machine to be his PR pitchman. Hype on this:
Jack Dickert, who has built a strong defensive reputation as the former defensive coordinator at Washington State and Wyoming, seems to be the kind of coach who could make that jump possible [to the College Football Playoff]. Jack Dickert is a rising star.
ChatBoy goes next level writing that Dickert’s arrival in Winston-Salem “presents a pivotal moment.”
This makes me tingle; how about you?
I didn’t read any of the typical hot-air coverage of the hiring of our new coach because I didn’t want to be dissuaded and misled by humans reporting on the pros and cons of this guy. They’re too biased and hallucinate too often. I wanted to go straight to the machine to get the real scoop on this guy that I could count on. Dealing with a machine I don’t have to worry whether I’m getting the truth or something short of that, some cheap clickbait headline. I’m looking at you, Sammy Sportface.
It’s clear ChatBoy is high on Dickert’s defensive acumen – which is good to know because we need better defensive backs or there’s no chance of getting to the College Football Playoff during this tenure. ChatBoy puts it this way:
What makes Dickert an intriguing choice for Wake Forest is his balance between defensive prowess and his ability to adapt to the modern offensive game.
A balanced approach is what we need so we fans don’t become emotionally unbalanced and seek therapy. I will be rooting for Dickert’s defense to knock down passes in the endzone which would be so refreshing, like coming upon a lemonade stand on a Florida afternoon in July.
A coach who understands defense and can stop offenses – sounds solid at least here online as opposed to on paper because paper doesn’t matter much anymore in most cases.
All this is goodness, but ChatBoy makes a glaring omission. There’s no mention in the blog about Dickert’s understanding of how to shut down the delayed run-pass option mesh that Wake has used for years. But maybe that was just a reverse hallucination.
Hallucinations aside, you now know the answer to the most important question we all want answered immediately
Wake could be at the Big Dance by 2028. Friggin’ great!
ChatBoy says so. Therefore, it is.
Get all fired up about that. Circle the date in your calendars.
We’re on our way.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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