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Everybody’s agog about the Japanese Jacker, Shohei Ohtani, who this season did something never done before since baseball began in 1869: hit 50 home runs and stole 50 bases.
It’s great, mind-blowing actually when you consider he’s also a spectacular pitcher.
The question is how great is this feat in the history of sports? Is it more impressive than Sammy Sportface luring 127 followers to sign up for the Baby Boomer Brotherhood in four years, eleven months, and 29 days?
How does 50-50 compare with Sportface making the game-winning shot at the buzzer over Adrian Branch to beat number one-ranked DeMatha? Was it more eye-popping historically than when he dominated the McDonald’s Capital Classic?
Was it more amazing than the time Bill Belichick and Bob Kraft drove west to get Tom Brady back during social distancing, picked up Ricky Williams in Idaho, and together smoked weed all the way to Seattle as Belichick bragged about his social distancing skills?
How does the Japanese Jacker star’s accomplishment stack up against the time Brett Favre got shot across the entire Florida peninsula in a rocket during Tom Brady’s Super Bowl run with Tampa Bay when all Idea Man was suggesting was Favre be shot across the tailgate party?
Is 50 and 50 better than the time Sportface reported on a Daytona Beach party with Tom Brady, Bo Derek, Gronk, Frankie Avalon, and Eric Von Zipper?
Here’s another question: If he were alive today, how would Bill Walton contextualize the 50/50 accomplishment?
“All of Southeast Asia rises up to praise yoga-style the Almighty Ohtani, the greatest of all athletes ever from that Far East Region of the universe except those Far East Little League World Series Champs who won 12 straight in the 80s. What a seismic revolution this man has set off, disrupting the balance of power, rearranging tectonic plates on all seven continents, discombobulating the sensibilities of the entire world’s population of 7.951 8 billion people according to Glorious Google.”
Is what this man from Japan did bigger than The Joker trekking all the way from Serbia to dominate the NBA, win a title and three MVPs, and then go home to drink beer and bet on horse races and ride around casually on the 10 he owns? Does Ohtani’s 50-50 marginalize the fact that Caitlin Clark has completely overtaken the world of all sports everywhere with her scoring records, logo threes, tunnel outfits, jersey sales, ball sales, State Farm and Gatorade ads, and first team All WNBA status when Geno Auriemma said she didn’t have the skills or quickness to compete in the league?
Seriously, was 50-50 more remarkable than when Taylor Swift dumped Travis Kelsey to fall in love with Sammy Sportface?
And one more question: Had Ohtani gone to Little Flower School in Bethesda, Maryland, would he be considered a better athlete than Charles Hartley? Against Our Lady of Lourdes in the sixth-grade championship touch football game, would Ohtani have out-sprinted world-class sprinter and safety Leonard Simpson for 93 yards for the winning score the way Hartley did with the Little Flower cheerleaders on the sideline gawking?
Ain’t no way
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
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