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Football season feels officially over. Wake Forest lost so our national title hopes are gone unless we win 14 straight which seems unlikely. The Redskins lost so they’re not going to the Super Bowl.
The NFL is unwatchable unless you’re gambling, drinking, or playing Fantasy Football.
Liv Golf ruined all golf. Greed got all the guys to show us they care more about being super loaded with cash than actually competing in golf.
Where do we go?
I’ll tell you.
We need to start being more open about sleep apnea. I have it. You have it or will have it, or know someone who has it.
Let’s really open up about this. The subject needs deeper exploration.
I think sleep apnea masks are cool. Look like football masks, kind of, like when you go to sleep you’re equipped to stick a running back who dares run up the middle into your space.
In doctor’s offices, there are plenty of different types of masks. You can go with the Sonny Jurgensen one-bar-like mask figuring you won’t get hit much. You can also get the ones that look like male-man region protectors, otherwise known as cups. You could wear that cup on your face at night, wake up in the morning and slip it on in your jockstrap slot, and go out and play tackle football and protect your man region from getting hit which would make you keel over and cry.
A sound economic re-use investment: cup for your face and your man region all in one, kind of like a three-in-one flavor Slurpee (lime, cherry, and cola) or three-in-one subject notebook for high school algebra, history, and geography.
I think the cup mask is the most manly looking although it does cover a lot of your face so you look like you have a real problem sleeping. The smaller one which I have now is kind of a cup lite, like Diet Coke, for self-conscious sleep apnea patients.
The best thing about sleep apnea is you get to learn about how often you stop breathing during the night and then at cocktail parties can share those experiences with others who will be eager to hear about sleep apnea either because:
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They have it themselves
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They think they might have it
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They like real conversations at cocktail parties instead of small talk
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They want to learn about sleep apnea so they can possibly go be a guest speaker at a national sleep apnea convention that pays them to do so
Wake Forest is going to lose to Ole Miss this weekend in football and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. We’ll lose by at least 28 points. I’m not being negative and pessimistic. I’m being glum and gloomy. There’s a difference.
I know we have to rebound from the crushing loss to UVA, but I’m not ready to. That one stung so bad my feet were sore, my mind dark, my heart shattered, my soul extinguished.
It’s all DJ’s fault. He predicted we would win the national championship and we all got our hopes up and he shouldn’t have manipulated our emotions like that. He needs to reign in his emotions and know his audience better, be kind to them, and show compassion.
After we lose to Ole Miss, we’ll be 1-2 and out of the national championship hunt. So then we can all relax, spend more time eating at Bojangles, put on our sleep apnea contraptions, and wake up after the season ends.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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