
Felt the need – well really the urge — to check in with ChatGPT for the chatbot’s impressions of the Paris Olympics Opening Ceremonies and first day of events.
Being all knowing, I figured the AI now getting pervasive globally would have the ability to search the entire Internet in 1.41 seconds and spew back a cavalcade of intriguing ideas, insights, factoids, social commentary and maybe even emotional outbursts despite being a machine. Let’s go.
Hartley: So what did you think of the Opening Ceremonies?
ChatGPT: I mean, I don’t know, man, still trying to process it, man. Kind of a lot of stuff going on: boats, rain, singing, dancing, drumming, balloons being lit up, two men and a woman, buildings getting all pink smoked. Not sure what to make of it to be honest.
Hartley: You’re supposed to know everything. Can’t understand why you can’t synthesize all that happened during that presentation and give us five or so pithy bullet points of 500 words capturing the essence of what it all means and how it wraps up in a tidy bow.
ChatGPT: Impossible, man. There is nothing I can search on the Internet to help me recognize patterns and connect all the dots to give you anything coherent about what went down, man. Too much of that was disparate, far out, unexpected and, quite frankly, subtle. All innuendo all the time is kind of my take.
Hartley: What about the people dangling from the building?
ChatGPT: Yeah, man, that was wild, man. Not sure what it meant, though. I’m not so good at interpreting what things mean. Much better at producing bullet point lists.
Hartley: What about the little guy running on roofs with the fencing mask on?
ChatGPT: Not sure about the fencing mask, man. I mean, I get it, fencing is a sport. But it felt more like Phantom of the Opera to me and that just doesn’t align with Olympic sports as far as I can ascertain. Although that play was about love and you could argue love is a sport and I would argue some people have.
Hartley: What about Hunter Armstrong’s third leg of the men’s 400 freestyle relay?
ChatGPT: Herculean, man. Totally dope. Dude crashed in that water and mashed it to smithereens. He swallowed the entire pool in one gulp.
Hartley: Where did you get that Herculean reference?
ChatGPT: Read the alliterative Hunter Hercules reference in a blog you wrote yesterday seconds after the race that SwimSwam didn’t publish. Hey man, they’re concerned you’re writing blogs using me, AI, and not crafting them out of your own head.
Hartley: Dude, you could never think up Hunter Hercules. Only humans have that capability. You think Hunter Hercules feels like Hercules this morning?
ChatGPT: Of course he does, man. He went 46 seconds in 100 meters of freestyle and lifted his team to the Gold. That’s exactly the kind of thing Hercules would do. Hercules stuff gushes all over the Internet.
Hartley: You think Hunter has heard of Hercules?
ChatGPT: Of course he has, man. Everybody’s heard of Hercules.
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