
Since the launch of Sammy Sportface, it’s been a consensus among the fellas that the greatest blog Sammy Sportface has ever written was titled “Sammy Sportface Releases Name of 10 Biggest Jerks of All Time.”
It hit newsstands in February 2020 and Sportface has been unsuccessfully trying to top that one ever since.
As you will recall, Dickie Wolf ranked Number 7 on that list. Here’s the write-up: “A colossal jerk from the get-go. Dickie is loud, obnoxious, unhinged, and unsettling. You can never trust Dickie to tell you the truth. Worse, when he tries to charm you, it makes you fearful because he’s not charming you for any reason that would benefit you. Dickie would rip your mind out and spit on it if he got the chance.”
I bring this up because yesterday this ranking of seventh became a contentious topic on Whit’s jalopy boat on our way back from the Bethany Beach Virgin Islands. Standing mid-boat, surrounded by the fellas looking on with wind blowing in his face, Dickie expressed displeasure he wasn’t ranked higher than seventh.
“I was and still am one of the biggest jerks of all time,” he said. “Last night I re-read that top 10 list knowing I would see Sportface today and get in his face to unload my emotions on him. I looked at the jerks ranked higher than me and I disagree. Gil’s a gigantic jerk and always has been and always will be. He got the fifth biggest jerk rating. But I should have been ranked higher. That whole list needs to be updated with me ranked much higher.”
“I can reconsider the ranking and maybe publish an updated list,” said Sportface while leaning back in Whit’s boat contemplating what about the boondoggle boat bust would make for good copy. “But there’s no way you’re getting the number 1 ranking. Sportface was first in the last ranking and he definitely still belongs at the top. Just ask any of his readers. I am still the biggest jerk of all time and it’s going to take a gigantic jerk to take me out. I’m committed to being a jerk so you better be more committed than me. The only guy who could overtake me is Rudy because being a jerk comes so naturally to him. He got second in the last ranking and he belonged right there. He puts pressure on me to be a bigger jerk than him, which is another reason he’s a jerk.”
Discussions about who’s the biggest jerk were not the only thing on our minds yesterday during our cruise to Paradise Island for Coors Lights, Virgin Pina Coladas, and Mama Mia music. Jacobin regaled us with his experiences as an undergraduate student at the University of South Carolina. We talked about what happened to Sportface.
“Wolfford, what happened to Sportface?” asked Jacobin. “When did he get this way?”
“I think Rudy made him this way,” said Wolfford. “He’s scarred by his boyhood best friend and it just keeps getting worse.”
Here’s the updated list – Top 10 Biggest Jerks of All time.
10. Moose
9. Teeth
8. Ed Woodson
7. Aaron Rodgers
6. Dickie
5. Rudy
4. Diana Taurasi
3. Beanna Stewart
2. Coach of Women’s Olympic Basketball Team
1. Sammy Sportface
Author Profile

-
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
Latest entries
BonusFebruary 2, 2025You Know You’re Getting Old When…
BonusJanuary 27, 2025Full Day of Yardwork, House Cleaning This Afternoon
BonusJanuary 26, 2025Perplexity Predicts Sportface’s Perplexing Blogs For Skins Super Bowl Berth
BonusJanuary 24, 2025Deluge of D.C. Fellas Flock to Skins Super Bowl Party