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One: What if Charles Hartley becomes a full-time SwimSwam correspondent instead of a once-every-four-years Johnny Come Hartley parachuting in to opine all about swimming only to find out others would rather he not be elevated to that position? What if USA Swimming has a problem with the decision?
Two: What if the day before the Olympic swimming events start SwimSwam publishes all nine of the blogs Hartley has submitted that have not been published heading into these Olympics? Imagine the stir that would cause all throughout Paris, the United States, and even in Southeast Asia. And imagine those blogs being sold as collector’s items alongside Caitlin Clark and Katie Ledecky Miss America T-shirts at the Olympic Village? Imagine if all his blogs were compiled into a coffee table book that all SwimSwam readers could gift to each other. What if Rowdy Gaines reads the compilation and writes a review of it for SwimSwam?
Three: What if Kate Douglass does become Miss America at these Olympics, and Chris Guiliano becomes Mr. America – all of which Charles Hartley has predicted? Would SwimSwam readers give him credit for being right? Or would they continue to tell us Caitlin Clark didn’t even make the US Olympic team so how could she have been Miss America, and will that argument be relevant?
Four: What if Summer McIntosh becomes Miss North America taking Gold in all her events? Would that mean she would be the automatic winner of the Miss America contest and get a spot in the Miss Universe pageant, and would that take the spot of whoever Miss America turned out to be? Would she start to be compared to Wayne Gretzky, Mr. Canada, as the new Miss Canada?
Five: What if Nic Fink beats Adam Peaty in the 100-meter breaststroke — in a major upset and international thunderclap? Will anyone care that Hartley saw Nic Fink swim the 100-individual medley at a summer pool meet when Nic was 12 – long before SwimSwam readers had heard of him? Would that impress any of them or would they find that a lucky coincidence for Hartley and nothing else?
Six: What if Jack Alexy takes Gold in the 100-meter freestyle and Hartley then writes a blog that he heard about Jack as a 7-year-old phenom in New Jersey – long before the swimming experts had heard of him? Would this build Hartley’s pool cred or be dismissed as just Hartley trying to build his swimming status? Would Hartley seeing Alexy be a nothingburger or a Baconator?
Seen: What if Bobby Finke does exactly the same thing in the 800 and 1500 freestyles he did in Tokyo in 2021, coming back from behind to win on the last lap? Will Hartley declare him the toughest American who has ever lied or did he already declare him that earlier this summer? If Bobby duplicates this feat in Paris – twice coming back on the last lap – will it be the greatest Olympic swimming story ever, surpassing Lezak’s winning leg of the 4 by 100 relay in 2008? What if Hartley calls up Bobby and tells him he wants to write a book about his amazing guts? If Bobby turns down the offer, what swimming blogs will Hartley write over the next four years, or will he not write any until 42 days before the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics? And how will SwimSwammers feel about that decision?
Eight: What if Hartley doesn’t submit another article to SwimSwam? What if no one notices? Will it mean Hartley’s swim blogging career is over? What if no one believes he ever had such a career?
Nine: What if Katie Ledecky finally speaks up about Hartley, who went to her grade school and at one time claimed to be a better athlete than her? What if Ledecky says she likes Hartley’s blogs and thinks SwimSwam should publish more of them and says anyone who went to Little Flower School as she and Hartley did is a solid American citizen? What if she admits while at Little Flower she heard of Hartley’s athletic prowess? What if she says Hartley is Mister America? Will SwimSwam finally acknowledge his greatness?
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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