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Woke up this morning and immediately slipped into my red, white, and blue Speedo – the style Mark Spitz wore in the 1972 Olympic Games. Pulled on my whale blue cap with “USA” red and white letters on both sides. Went to the waiting room, a SwimSwam towel dangling around my neck, staring straight ahead with fury on my face like Michael Phelps wore when Chad Le Clos shadowbox taunted him in the waiting room in 2021 then made a fool of himself getting smoked in the Butterfly by the swimming GOAT.
Pinched my biceps five times each. Did the Michael Phelps flap of arms, like scissors whipping across each other in half-the-way-to-mayhem style?
Flicked my wrists around; bent them to gain flexibility. Slapped my Speedo cheeks, first left, then right, then at the same time. Stepped up to the starting block. Set my laptop on top. Logged into Word. Named the file “SwimSwam blog #39 – Summer of 2024.”
Starting horn goes off: Wooooonnnk. Startles people near the laptop and even walking outside nearby.
Start typing the first sentence of another blog for SwimSwam. Time myself with a stopwatch. Tick Tick. Timex. This is just a backup; electronic sensor timing is installed on the PC. Probably won’t need the stopwatch data.
Get to the end of the first sentence in 20.27 seconds. Heading for the end of the first paragraph. Good split time, personal best: 19.89. Getting faster as the sentences go on which was the plan. Go out early and hang on.
On to paragraph two which is a slower split – 21.31 – because I added a few dependent clauses to a sentence that I didn’t anticipate, and fell into the writing trap of saying basically the same thing in one sentence and then the next which is almost exactly like getting your arm caught in the ropes in a racing pool.
Kept going, on to paragraph three, despite feeling mentally and physically idea parched. This leg of the blog felt kind of like my best stroke, writing anything. The words flowed without much thinking. Ideas poured onto the page. I was in a flow. My Speedo felt more comfortable for some reason. Best split so far of the blog: 18.98.
A release of tension is what got me going so fast.
Four paragraphs to go, which feels like four laps except one is typing and the other swimming, one on land and the other in water. Starting to feel the “piano on my back” as swimmers say about shoulder pain late in races. Struggling to find the right words. Ideas aren’t connecting, like flip turns that take too long. Need to take more breaths while typing sentences. Cap is coming loose. Goggles are fogging up.
Terrible split: 24.31.
One paragraph to go. Digging deep for a sentence that will make SwimSwam want to publish this blog. Need to clear my mind and just get my hand on the keys before anyone else writes this blog. It’s like I need to touch the wall first. Fearful there are many out there doing this very same thing weaving a blog creation with swimming split times and other feelings you get when racing.
Type the last word and then a period. Blog done. Wall touched. Last paragraph was the best. You can tell. You’re reading this. You sense a good time.
A personal best.
Speedo off. USA warm-up suit on.
Press conference ensues.
They ask about my blog and how I managed to finish with a flourish.
I tell them it was the way my Speedo hugged my hips.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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