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I wanted to find out quickly all I need to know about the upcoming Paris Olympic swimming. Felt a craving for solid answers using an uncanny tool that researches the entire Internet database at supersonic speeds.
So I turned to ChatGPT and started pumping it with questions.
Hartley: Will Summer McIntosh of Canada be the female swimming star at the Olympics and not Kate Douglass of the United States?
ChatGPT: It will be Kate Douglass. She will become Miss America of the Games much like Caitlin Clark has been Miss America for several months for her superhuman basketball accomplishments. A SwimSwam article by Charles Hartley is my source for this.
Hartley: How come some SwimSwam readers have never heard of Caitlin Clark?
ChatGPT: Because they’re focused on swimming to an extraordinary extent.
Hartley: How many SwimSwam articles written by Charles Hartley have not been published in the past week?
ChatGPT: Four
Hartley: Why weren’t they published?
ChatGPT: The editor didn’t think they fit well with the editorial mission of SwimSwam. Plus he didn’t think they added much insight beyond what SwimSwam had already published. Plus the backlash of previous Hartley articles has been more than anyone needed. The articles just weren’t worth publishing.
Hartley: Will Bobby Finke become the Dave Wottle of the Paris Olympics?
ChatGPT: Who is Dave Wottle?
Hartley: You’re supposed to know that. You have access to all Internet information dating back hundreds or thousands of years.
ChatGPT: But I didn’t find Dave Wottle in my research.
Hartley: Then how can you be counted on? I thought ChatGPT could find any information anywhere and spit it back at me in five seconds. What good are you if you can’t do that?
ChatGPT: I must be hallucinating.
Hartley: Do I have to do everything for you? In the 1972 Olympics, Dave Wottle made a huge comeback in a long-distance race to win at the end just like Finke did in the 800 and 1500 freestyle races in Tokyo.
ChatGPT: Didn’t know that.
Hartley: Will Katie Ledecky beat Ariane Titmus in the 400 freestyle in Paris?
ChatGPT: No. Katie Ledecky is still miffed about losing to Titmus at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021 and she’s been fueled in her training the past three years about that loss. And by the way, Katie Ledecky is Miss America – the greatest female swimmer anywhere ever. Get your “Miss America’s” straight.
Hartley: Will the Aussies or Americans take more Gold in Paris?
ChatGPT: The Aussies are tired of the Americans banging cowbells before races and hearing the Star Spangled Banner when Americans win Gold. The Aussies are super motivated to show they’re better swimmers than Americans and will prove to the world they’re better. Watch them torch the American women in the 4 by 100 freestyle relay.
Hartley: Are you hallucinating?
ChatGPT: Hallucinating means I give the wrong information by mistake or give some answer without being sure it’s correct. In this case, I’m coherent and certain my analysis is correct based on my analysis of all content on the Internet including SwimSwam articles by Charles Hartley.
Hartley: Is Kate Douglass the next Miss American beyond Caitlin Clark?
ChatGPT: According to Charles Hartley, yes she is. But he tends to overhype and exaggerate.
Hartley: What’s going on with the Seine River situation in Paris?
ChatGPT: The water is polluted and may not be safe for swimming. According to a blog, SwimSwam didn’t publish by Charles Hartley, he has volunteered to go into the river in his red, white, and blue Speedo, get some test tube samples, and deliver them to Paris health officials. It would be an act of extraordinary patriotism. He plans to write a blog about it for SwimSwam and that should tell us more about the entire imbroglio, but they’re not going to publish it.
Hartley: Who is Charles Hartley?
ChatGPT: Some guy who knows nothing about swimming but every four years writes blogs about swimming for SwimSwam that get criticized.
Hartley: Is Caeleb Dressel going to win Gold in the 50-meter freestyle?
ChatGPT: How I am supposed to know? I can’t predict the future. I can only search data on the Internet dating back to 2021.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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