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The U.S. Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, the U.S. Treasury Security, the President of the New York Stock Exchange, and economic leaders from the government, the private sector, and higher education have started holding emergency meetings to deal with the worker productivity collapses that are going to be happening over the next several weeks during the March Madness basketball tournament.
These officials are gathering because they know, based on historical data, that workers constantly watch March Madness basketball games at their offices during the day instead of doing their jobs. These financial bureaucrats also watch the games and stop working during the tournament but, like most other workers, pretend to keep busy while sitting at their desks; some workers don’t even pretend.
Productivity is expected to drop 87 percent during this period which will torpedo our nation’s gross domestic product metrics for March and April with residual fallout expected to last much longer.
A New York Stock Exchange news release issued today predicts this basketball watching will cause the overall value of the U.S. stock market will shrink to .0016 percent of its current value – a loss of more than $79 trillion.
During the tournament stock brokers won’t be buying and selling anything because they’ll also be watching hoops from their beach homes in The Hamptons on Long Island, New York.
The problem is irreversible because the people who run these businesses, the presidents, CEOs, CFOs, and middle managers with direct reports, watch as much tournament action at work as the people who work under them.
The situation is as straightforward as it is dire. American workers prefer to watch basketball games over doing their jobs and there’s no way this is ever going to change.
Workers at all levels all admit watching hoops is more enjoyable and relaxing than filling out Excel spreadsheets, creating PowerPoint slides, writing emails, talking with customers, taking artificial intelligence training courses, doing weekly status Zoom calls, and any other tasks people do while at work.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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