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I hesitate to type this because it’s bound to not end well.
Oh well.
The fifth annual Sammy Sportface Booze Crooze will unravel on Whit’s banged-up boat next Saturday, July 15th at the fungus- and seaweed-laced Bethany Boat Dock.
All loyal members of the Baby Boomer Brotherhood are invited even those whose lives are languishing otherwise.
Amid this psychiatric pandemonium, Captain Ahab Whit will careen his boat into the poles at the tiki bar arena, a secret island of diabolical though delightful drinking joints just a nautical mile from the shores of Bethany Bay.
There we’ll drink. And not think. In a blink, the trajectory of our lives will further sink.
JeKobyn, a commercial real estate mogul who doubles as an on-demand stand-up comic, will provide levity and a balanced view of things with a sprinkle of raw mental images. Head will spearhead a sideshow exhibiting his cranium to all the gawkers having never seen a noggin so neandrethalian. Wolfford will struggle to stand up and, in due time, slur his words. Sportface will get all sweaty and dive off the boat into the Bay. Then the Coast Guard will be called to rescue him from the water because he’s too decrepit and love-boat-sized to climb aboard a mere boat without making a total spaz of himself and falling on his head upon entry to rub his tongue on the boat floor foot and food filth.
Rudy may or may not post for this event.
“It all depends on whether Blueberry Pie will be there,” says Rudy. “Screw Sportface. He’s trying to gin up another Booze Crooze that nobody ever wants to do. Plus I’m not gonna commit cuz that’s been my MO my whole life. I’m holding out, as always, for a better offer.”
“Besides, I’ve seen more than I want of Sportface for one lifetime,” he added. “Earlier this summer I suffered through his two-hour-long Father of the Bride speech at his daughter’s wedding. It was a worse experience than watching him miss 57 of 61 shot attempts against St. Paul & Augustine in the D.C. city title game in 8th grade. Sportface sucked then and still does.
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
