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Fireball Frizz had had enough of Sportface’s antics over the past week since the most devastating debacle in Wake Forest football history in which the then-undefeated team lost to North Carolina after leading by 56 points in the fourth quarter.
Since that game Sportface had been writing blogs about drinking his face off taking Fireball Frizz shots and then, continuing his bender, weeping in Wait Chapel as Boz Scaggs played “It’s Over” to signal to the university that the Wake football fantasy of going to the national football championship game was a fantasy all along.
So Fireball Frizz sat down this morning, in a fit of fiery emotion, and typed out a blog and posted it on the Sammy Sportface Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog Facebook page.
“No shots for you at today’s tailgate,” wrote Fireball Frizz. “And no more mooching all the tailgate grub from a bunch of strangers who were Wake Forest graduates six years earlier than you. Don’t come in today pretending you know these guys cuz you don’t. And don’t do like last time and eat six plates full of apple pie and rave to everybody how great the apple pie is. You’re a mooch and fraud and a disloyal, highly unhinged Wake Forest football fan. We need normal people at our tailgate today who are coming to cheer for Wake Forest to beat NC State and get the inside pole position to go to the ACC championship game where we’ll be chugging Fireball Frizzes without you. You are a football tailgate menace, Sammy Sportface. You show up and fondle a dozen pieces of Bojangles chicken before deciding which six you’re going to eat. And all you eat is chicken and apple pie. There are plenty of other items on the spread including pasta salad but you don’t even care about pasta salad.
What’s with you, Sportface? I’m telling you, you’ve given us all a bad taste in our mouths this week for having predicted Wake would go for the scoring record for most points allowed by a defense in the 151 years of college football. While that may happen, you don’t need to keep harping on it. You need to stay away from the tailgate today, Sportface. You’re not one of us. You’re somebody else from somewhere we don’t understand nor want to know about.”
After posting this to the Facebook page, Spars commented that he thinks Fireball Frizz shouldn’t be too harsh on Sportface.
“Sportface is misunderstood but at his core, he means well,” wrote Spars.
The blog generated 567 comments throughout today in the psychological roller-coaster leading up to tonight’s big football game at Groves Stadium.
As Sportface made his way over to the tailgate fantasizing about taking shots with Fireball Frizz and eating an entire apple pie all by himself that he didn’t bring to the tailgate, he started feeling projectiles hitting him in the face, arms, Johnson, and legs.
The tailgaters who were supposedly his new pals were hurling Sammy’s Sammies at Sportface to punish him and send an unequivocal message that they did not want him at their tailgate.
“No Fireball Frizz tailgate shots for you,” shouted Fireball Frizz. “And you can have back your Sammy Squid Sammies. They’re making us all ill.”
Undeterred, Sportface fought his way through the Sammy Sammies projectile onslaught to get to the tailgate.
“Where’s the big apple pie like the one I destroyed at the Duke tailgate?” asked Sportface.
He found it, picked the entire fresh pie up, and walked over to a separate spot in the parking lot, and started eating the entire pie by himself with his bare hands.
To be continued…
Author Profile
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
Sammy Sportface Has a Vision -- Check It Out
Sammy Sportface -- The Baby Boomer Brotherhood Blog -- Facebook Page
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