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On their final podcast today before the Summer Olympics, Sammy Sportface and Spars tossed around new-fangled ideas to lift the spirits of the six billion people on Earth bummed about all the problems heading into The Games.
Sportface proposed the swimming events all be in the nude, including fans and everyone at home watching on TV.
“Nakedness will cut drag for the swimmers so more world records are bound to be broken,” said Sammy Sportface, host of the “Sammy Sportface and Spars Show.” “Any everybody else watching in the nude will feel unity and togetherness, a social bond stretching from Southeast Asia to the shores of Saudi Arabia. The Olympics started in the nude and it’s now time to bring all that nudity back to the forefront where it’s always belonged.”
Sportface also floated an idea he’s been obsessing about for the past several days: throwing small kitchen appliances on the same stadium infield just like they have been tossing shot puts, javelins and the discus since 776 BC when the Games began in Athens, Greece.
Building on this concept, Spars suggested people would feel better watching an event in which people get thrown. A great candidate for that, he offered, would be Bryson DeChambeau, who has recently been talking about how much his golf driver sucks and how much he sucks.
“He may fall in some uncomfortable position and may get injured, but if not he can get back to the Olympics golfing event.”
Enamored with this clever thinking, and showing he’s always thinking about fast food, Sportface cooked up the idea to cram mash potatoes and sausage gravy from Bojangles into every small appliance chucked across the infield.
“After throwing all the appliances and people, everyone could celebrate by eating all those mashed potatoes in the stadium infield,” he said. “Man I dig that sausage gravy. It should be served on Thanksgiving in every American household.”
The podcast also touched on the cardboard box beds in the Olympic Village designed to deter the athletes from having sex.
“But really, would a cardboard box deter you from having sex?” asked Spars rhetorically.
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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Very entertaining
Thank you Jim. We aim to entertain. At least I think that’s the goal.