Just when you thought Rudy might be coming around to be a solid friend, he reversed course today by pulling a last-minute exit from the long-awaited Booze Crooze.
“Those suckers,” he said from his Baltimore home. “They fell for my BS again. And what makes this stunt even more satisfying for me is I made these guys delay the Booze Crooze for two months to accommodate my schedule and I’m still not showing up. I’m Edding on these losers big-time. What fools.”
Edding is a term created in 1977 by Danny Cunningham of Saint Jane De Chantel Parish in Bethesda, Maryland. Danny noticed a pattern that one de Chantel dude named Ed Woodson never showed up for anything he committed to, never came through on anything, and yet, because of his extreme selfishness, has done well in business. So anytime anyone didn’t show up when they said they would, the Bethesda crowd accused that person of “Edding.”
Hundreds of thousands of people in Bethesda know what the term Ed means.
“This is a circle of life moment because I’m Edding on the fellas this weekend just like Rudy is, and I invented the verb, Ed,” said Danny. “I told them I was coming a few weeks ago then backed out at the last minute saying I had work to do. That’s a lie. I’m going over to Rudy’s today, drinking a case of Budweiser, and laughing with him about how we both Edded on the Booze Crooze.”
So where does that leave us?
Invitations to 30 million Baby Boomer Men went out on the Sammy Sportface Baby Boomer Brotherhood Facebook Page. That invitation generated zero interest. Four guys are showing up reluctantly and are now texting to squeeze down the time for today’s Crooze.
“It’s disappointing,” said Sammy Sportface, who started organizing this blockbuster event seven months ago. “I had visions of dozens of boats anchored in the Bethany Beachside by side with beer bottles being tossed among all of them like Brady hurled the Super Bowl trophy. But none of that has come to fruition. This has turned into a lame and boring boat ride among a few fellas who, in all honesty, don’t really have good chemistry.”
The captain of the USS Booze Crooze, Whit, is especially irritated that he has to spend an afternoon with guys he doesn’t want to be with.
“I don’t trust Sportface,” he says. “Every time I tell him a story about my past on these boat rides he goes home, like a little wuusy, and writes a blog about what I said. The guy’s exposing the world to my past that I’d rather everybody not know about. The stories I tell are to entertain the fellas, not to be broadcasted to the 22 Sportface Facebook followers.”