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Antonio Brown’s psychedelic air balloon hovers precariously some 100 feet above the nearly sunk boat occupied by Bill Walton and Ricky Williams.
The two have been elevating themselves in the deep blue sea amid a horrific hurricane. CNN, ESPN, and hundreds of media outlets cover the dangerous situation live.
The world remains transfixed, including the millions back onshore at the Cirque de Sportface, watching the scene on the tent city jumbotrons as George Foreman Senior cooks elephants, giraffes, goat meat, and TBelch burgers.
In his Wrangler Jeans and nothing else, Brett Favre straps himself to a rope and lowers himself towards the boat.
“You boys must be high coming out 200 miles into the Gulf of Mexico,” he says.
He hangs Walton, who is six feet 11 inches tall, and Ricky, who weighs 220, over his left and right shoulders respectively. They hang on as AB reels up the rope towards the air balloon.
“This is so awesome,” says Walton. “On live TV we’re being rescued by Brett Favre, one of the greatest football players who has ever lived. What a story we have to tell the world when we get back to Cirque de Sportface.”
John Madden assists AB with reeling up the rope. “Who else but Brett Favre could rescue two guys from a shipwrecked boat in a horrendous hurricane wearing his Wrangler Jeans? I’ll you who could: only one guy, that’s Brett Favre.”
With the whole world riveted on this dramatic rescue scene, Bill Belichick, masquerading as a James Bond villain takes advantage of the diverted attention in the lower deck of the pirate ship at Raymond James Stadium.
His phone rings.
“We got Brady’s hotel room number,” says Patriots owner Robert Kraft. “I wired the concierge $900,000.”
“We need the room number for Arians also,” says Belichick. “Need to wire his room also. We’ve got to know everything going on with the Tom Bradys in their strategic preparations for Super Bowl SS.”
“How’s the tunnel dig going?” asks Kraft.
“Almost done. I hired some guys to help me from the Tampa area. Cut a few after a few hours because they weren’t mentally tough. Others got my message to do their jobs.”
“You get the Ducolax?”
“Yep went to CVS today. Got plenty to mess up the entire Tom Brady roster.”
“You wanna sign Rodgers?” asks Kraft.
“Yea. Let’s do it tomorrow and steal all the Super Bowl headlines away from Brady,” he says. “Can’t stand seeing that guy’s face on TV 24-7 this week. Should be my mug on TV. If we sign Rodgers during Super Bowl week, the press will have to shift their attention away from Brady and that’s exactly what I want.”
To be continued…
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Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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