Caravan Crew Picks Up Barkley On Way to Sports Gras Rally

Caravan Crew Picks Up Barkley On Way to Sports Gras Rally

Onward the Super Bowl-bound caravan cruises. SportStock is over (thank God).

 

Next stop: Sports Gras in New Orleans where Tom Brady’s Tampa Bay Bucs and school of supermodels will prance into the Superdome and sock the Saints to smithereens and the tailgate party will be twice as big as SportStock.

 

The cavalcade of cruisers has begun barreling down I-95 South out of the D.C. area towards the city with glorious street parties.

 

“Let’s stop at McDonald’s,” says Sammy Sportface who is writing a blog summarizing his thoughts about the Tom Brady supermodel tent at SportStock.

 

From the backseat of the Wienermobile at the drive-through, Sportface orders two Big Macs, a Double Cheeseburger, two McRibs, a 10-piece Chicken McNuggets with six-packs of barbecue sauce, and two large chocolate shakes.

 

“Anybody else want anything?” he asks the caravan crew.

 

“What’s with this Sportface fatface?” asks Stephen A. from the Jackson 5 Jalopy. “He’s always writing about food in his blogs and going to McDonald’s. Damnit, I don’t understand the guy, I really don’t.”

 

Jeb Hillbillie says he wants to go to California because that’s where he oughta be where they’re swimming pools and movie stars.

 

“Why would I want to go to New Orleans?” he asks. “I’m from the Ozarks in Missouri and my show went off the air four decades ago. Plus, I’m not even a real person. This whole trip is not making a lot of sense to me. Grilling and tailgating and the Fez band playing at SportStock. What’s going on? What a trip we’re all on.”

 

On they go. Cheech and Chong remain content with everything. They’re up for New Orleans.

 

“Hey, man, where else do we have to go?” asks Cheech. “I mean, why not, man? It’s gonna be a party down there, man.”

 

Brett Favre is excited that the caravan is headed back to New Orleans near his home state of Mississippi. 

 

“As soon as we get there I’m gonna heave a football over the Superdome again,” he said. “I’ll be the first guy to ever do that twice in the span of two weeks.”

 

Riding shotgun in the passenger seat of the Wienermobile, John Madden thinks about how fortunate he is to be with Brett Favre on this trip.

 

“I mean, here we are, driving down to  New Orleans with I mean I mean none other than Brett Favre and I mean, boom, you’ve got to appreciate how great this guy is,” he said. “There aren’t many guys like Brett Favre and there aren’t many opportunities to drive around the country every weekend to NFL stadiums and parties and get meat grilled by George Foreman. I’d have to say this is the greatest experience of my life and it’s all because of Brett Favre.”

 

Several hours later, Sportface sees a sign for Selma, Alabama. 

 

“Hey we need to pick up Charles Barkley at his home in Selma,” said Sportface. “Charles texted me and said he wants to join us for the trip to New Orleans.”

 

The Wienermobile pulls into Chuck’s driveway and the round mound of rebound gets in the backseat.

 

“This Wienermobile is turrible,” says Chuck.

 

The vehicle is a plastic bubble tube so when Chuck gets it lots of air blows out of the roof. The car itself becomes like a flat tire.

 

So at a local gas station, Caliendo pumps air into the Wienermobile so it can ride again smoothly.

 

Roger Goddess calls Sportface.

 

“Where’s the caravan headed this weekend?” asks Goddess.

 

“Sports Gras,” he says. “It’s gonna be so much bigger than SportStock. Momentum is building as we speak. I’m posting blogs about it. Jazz musicians from all over the world are flocking towards New Orleans right now. The city of New Orleans is bracing for the biggest party the city has ever seen.”

 

“I’ll be there, Sportface,” said Goddess. “The Fez playing?”

 

“Of course,” said Sportface. “The Rolling Stones will open for them. Then the Fez will take the stage and turn the Sports Gras throngs upside down into a world-shaking fezny. They’ll make us all feel we’re living a semi-charmed kind of life.”

 

 

To be continued…

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Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:

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