Favre Dumps Danica, Has Her Put on Marino’s Isotoner Gloves

Favre Dumps Danica, Has Her Put on Marino’s Isotoner Gloves

Can you believe this, I mean, boom, Brett Favre shows up in his Wrangler Jeans and, boom, next thing you know he’s in the Wienermobile with Danica Patrick?” asks John Madden. “I mean, I mean who else can pull off something like that other than, boom, Brett Favre.”

Madden stalks around the Wienermobile seeing if he can see inside what’s going on in there. It’s tough because the Wienermobile doesn’t have any windows that easy to see through.

Aaron Rodgers squints to see what he can see about what’s going on in the Wienermobile. 

“Can’t see anything,” said Rodgers. He starts yelling.

“Hey Mississippi, come out of there. We’ve got a big toss match. You’re afraid you’re gonna lose. That’s why you’re hiding in the Wienermobile.”

“What do you think of my Wienermobile?” asks Favre as he reclines in the backseat with his feet up.

“I know New York Jets cheerleaders so I’ve seen it,” she said.

“You a Bears fan?” Favre asks.

“Yep, love da bears,” she says.

“Get out of my Wienermobile. I don’t date Bears fans.”

Favre blows out of the side door of the Wienbermobile and says he’s ready for the contest. He starts warming up. From the 50-yard line, he practices by heaving the ball into the upper decks of Lambeau. He aims for the lights above the stadiums and hits them a few times.

He then calls Sportface.

“We need the coordinates for the turducken grills,” he said. “Longitude and latitude.”

Sportface tells him there are 14 grills spread out across the parking lot, about 6 feet apart for social distancing reasons. Each one has alive turducken sizzling to death.

Each guy gets 14 throws. Hit a live turducken and you get 10 points Hit the grill you get 5 points. Hit George Foreman Senior’s bald head you get 3 points. And he’s a breakdancer you get 1 point. 

Hit the lights at top of the stadium and you get zero points. Don’t chuck the ball out of the stadium and that’s minus five points. Hit the mezzanine section and you get minus 10 points.

The quarterbacks will alternate throws.

“Hold on, Sportface,” said Mississippi. “Dan Marino just arrived here at the 50-yard line.”

Marino’s rocking his Isotoner Gloves.

“Want to wear these for the context, Mississippi?” asks Marino. “They’ll give you a better grip on the ball.”

“Yeah, come here Danica. Put these Isotoners on my hands.”

“You broke up with me in the Wienermobile,” she said.

“Yeah but I like the way you put things on me,” said Mississippi.

To be continued…

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