So how’s your year going? Feeling out of sync and discombobulated? Is something awry in your world? Has your schedule been disrupted?
A pandemic rocked your senses and mine. Unemployment shot to the moon. Virtually the entire world shut down. NGSC Sports kept riding the Sammy Sportface spacecraft.
And the NBA turned to Mickey Mouse to settle its scheduling conflicts.
What in the world is going on?
By this date, in early June we should be getting hyped for games 2 or 3 of the NBA Finals. Instead, the entire league hasn’t played for more than 80 days and 22 teams will be headed to Mickey Mouse land, Disneyworld, to play all the playoff games on the same court.
This seals it: We’re all living in a netherworld fantasyland. We might as well embrace it. What choice do we have? What else do we have to do?
Stay six feet away. Wear your mask. Watch the NBA Mickey Mouse style. This is our fate.
On center court, you will see the character’s big black ears and a mug just to remind you of where these games are taking place. Every time the ball changes possessions we will get to see Mickey.
There will be videos on the stadium jumbotron of several key Disneyworld rides such as “It’s a Small World” and the “Space Mountain.”
There won’t be anyone in the stadium but the players and coaches, so TNT will switch between the game action and shots of the rides on the jumbotron.
Twitterverse will blow up with complaints. Fifty-three percent will be screaming to see more of the games and forty-seven percent will be arguing for more TV time devoted to the jumbotron visuals.
Every day at 12:00 o’clock there will be a parade, led by Mickey, around the entire stadium just like the one held every single day at Disneyland through the main street. If an NBA game happens to be going on at this time, action will stop and the players will sit on the bench and watch the parade. They will sip Gatorade and chill with towels around their necks to absorb the sweat.
Once it’s over, play will resume.
After each game, a gaggle of Disney characters will show up on the court such as The Little Mermaid and all Seven Dwarfs including Dopey. They will provide commentary on the games for TNT color analyst Charles Barkley.
“So what did you think of how LeBron played?” Charles will ask Dopey.
“I thought he played a solid all-around floor game and really got his teammates involved,” said Dopey. “But I think he needs to follow-through better of his outside shot.”
“Are you a basketball expert?” Chuck will ask.
“No I’m one of the seven dwarfs,” Dopey will say. “You know, Snow White and all that.”
After the games, the top-seeded teams will return to their five-star hotels. They will get that benefit for finishing with one of the best regular-season records. Those hotels will have thousands of flatscreen TVs, free massages and pedicures, and daily dinner specials of prime rib and lobster.
The lowest-seeded teams will return to their smelly low-grade hotels where there will be anthills, cockroaches, and non-HDTV sets from the 1960s.
“It’s only fair to give the best teams the better hotels and the worst qualifiers really awful living conditions,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “Disneyland is the land of opportunity. These teams all had to chance to post strong regular-season records. Some did. Some didn’t.
“In these challenging times, some people are going to win and others will lose,” he added. “That’s how these playoffs will unfold. We have to keep the integrity of our sport intact otherwise we’ll lose our credibility. Fans will abandon us to watch NASCAR and corn hole tournaments.”
Sammy Sportface, a sports blogger, galvanizes, inspires, and amuses The Baby Boomer Brotherhood. And you can learn about his vision and join this group's Facebook page here:
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