Barstool Sports Buys NGSC Sports
Barstool Sports, the rapidly growing Internet sports website hell-bent on destroying ESPN, took a positive move in that pursuit today. The company announced it has bought NGSC Sports, a low-quality, and virtually unknown Internet sports web site. Terms of the deal were not disclosed.
“We surveyed all the sports blogs around the world to find one that produces the kind of content that our demographic craves, and NGSC Sports is that site,” said Barstool president Barney Stool. “They cover the Boston College baseball team and the Indy 500 during March Madness. That’s golden and timely editorial. Plus they have lots of internal dissension and personnel turnover within their ranks. This is the recipe we’re looking for to take Barstool to the next level and obliterate ESPN from the face of the Earth.”
Barstool considered buying other sports blogs such as Bleacher Report, SBNation, and Grantland, but ultimately decided that they needed something differentiating to add to their content that only NGSC Sports could offer.
“That differentiator,” Stool said, “is Sammy Sportface. Not only is he possibly America’s best sports blogger, he is only mildly interested in the truth. We are drawn to people who deceive and manipulate to generate more clicks and views of blogs. Sportface is a master of this type of disaster. The Barstool audience is about to get a full dose of Sammy Sportface, and he’s going to blow their minds. Eventually, we will rename our company ‘Barstool Sportface.’ ”
Ralph Garcia, president of NGSC Sports, said he was glad to have been purchased by Barstool because the deal made him millions of dollars.
“NGSC Sports hasn’t been making any money since it was founded a few years ago, and there were no signs of that changing over the next few years,” he said. “I’m just glad someone bailed me out of this sinkhole investment. The guy I have to thank is Sammy Sportface. He’s the reason Barstool bought NGSCSports, and I don’t even know who he is. He just started sending me untrue blogs a few years ago and I kept publishing them because his readership kept climbing for reasons no one has been able to explain. All I can say is ‘thank you, Sammy Sportface,” for rescuing me from this NGSC Sports boondoggle enterprise.”
Sportface could not be reached for comment. He was busy writing a news release about the Barstool acquisition of NGSC Sports.
- Possibly America’s best sports blogger. Sometimes relevant and insightful. Often funny and satirical. Mostly mysterious and unpredictable. Only mildly interested in the truth.