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Sportface: Is Jay Bilas the World’s Smartest Person?

Is Jay Bilas the World’s Smartest Person?

Dear Jay,

Are you the smartest person in the world? Are you more intelligent than everyone who has ever graduated from Duke, which would be quite the achievement? Is your IQ higher than Albert Einstein’s was?

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How come when we listen to college basketball analysts we hear them but then just want to hear what you have to say because what you say is more insightful and usually more accurate than what everyone else says? Did Duke teach you how to be so insightful? Or was it Coach K who taught you everything? He has had quite an impact on many of his players, literally transformed their lives. He profoundly impacted you, too, didn’t he Jay? Did he tell you that he believed you could become the smartest college basketball analyst in the world? Did he paint a picture of that image in your mind and, because you worshipped him, you believed every word and have made it come true?

Have you thought of writing books about basketball and astrophysics and politics? Your mind is so versatile that you could tackle these disparate subjects with ease. You have a law degree from Duke. Do you want to be a Supreme Court judge one day, the first to get there from the position of ESPN college basketball analyst?

What was it about the Duke education that makes you so capable of having penetrating insights about the March Madness basketball tournament? No doubt they taught critical thinking skills and logical reasoning and forming cogent arguments. Duke shortcuts nothing when it comes to educating its students.

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Without you, Jay, all we have are a bunch of college basketball analysts who fill out their brackets and tell us who they think is going to win based on which team has more talent and momentum heading into the tournament. But you, Jay, bring so much more depth to all of this. You’re like a professor emeritus of college basketball knowledge and wisdom. You raise points that no one else considers. You know more about this game than anyone else and understand it on a more visceral and intellectual level than all the other hoops pundits, mainly because you’re extremely smart and went to Duke. You hover over this sport like a giant library statue, covering it all with your overarching opinions and ideas.

Without you, Jay, college basketball would be such a bore, just some guys heaving a ball into a basket.  But you lift the sport off the page and bring it to life in ways no one else can. You create images in our minds about the game that we’ve never conceived. Your basketball sagacity knows no limits. Importantly, you explain to us not only what happened on the court but also why.

You take basketball into the world of the cerebral. You bring intelligentsia to a simple sport. Your basketball mind is an ocean full of depth, statistics, and Duke education.

And so as we enter the March Madness tournament, it is comforting to know that there is one guy out there who can put all of this in perspective for us so we don’t have to think it through for ourselves. You will do the thinking and we will ingest your words of basketball wisdom. You will figure out the hidden reasons why one team beat another. You will take away any of the thinking that we may have had to do during this tournament. You will come up with the colorful phrases and an occasional analogy that fits the context and will be appropriate without sounding pretentious.

You will pretend you’re not rooting for Duke, but all along we know you want them to win because you graduated from Duke, one of the most revered basketball programs and academic universities in America. You will talk about how good Michigan State is to try to get us to believe you think they’re better than Duke. You may even believe that.

But in your heart, we all know how smart you are and how clever you are at hiding your Bilas bias for Duke. It’s so obvious not by what you say but the subtle attitude you reveal about a guy who thinks he’s really smart. And we all know that could only have happened because you gained your education at delightful Duke.


Sammy Sportface

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Sammy Sportface
Possibly America’s best sports blogger. Sometimes relevant and insightful. Often funny and satirical. Mostly mysterious and unpredictable. Only mildly interested in the truth.

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