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Sportface: Puking Will Discolor Winter Olympics

Puking Will Discolor Winter Olympics

We all see it coming like a dirty, mushy, and infectious projectile
flying through the air. Right there on the glitzy ice and in their
nice outfits, one pairs skater will puke on the other. It will be
gross.

We also see a similar upheaval happening in the four-man bobsled
competition. One of the four guys will start to feel nauseous and toss
chunks uncontrollably on his teammate next to him. The video will go
viral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we can see the ski jumper flying in mid-air with Ralph flying in
the air along with them. It will look like two flying objects in
synergistic harmony.

Don’t turn off your TV sets. Stay plugged in. Revel in the
contagiousness. This is all going to happen at the Winter Olympics in
Pyeongchang, South Korea over the next two weeks.

There has been an outbreak of something called the norovirus in the
Olympic Village that has affected numerous security guards. So far
more than 100 cases have been reported and that number continues to
climb. The virus causes upchucking, the runs and dehydration. So far
no Olympic athletes have been affected, but we are hoping this starts
to happen soon so we can see athletes puking while competing for Gold
Medals because the tension will be elevated.

The really gross part, however, will be the discoloration of the white
snow to a tannish-brown tint when athletes heave.

Look for lots of puking to take place at the luge competition. The
sport is inherently rough on the stomach. The competitors whip down
the ice patch at 70 miles per hour.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the hockey arena, there will likely be some throwing up leveraged
as a strategic tool. To distract and bum out the goalies, opposing
players will deliberately heave on the goalies while their teammates
shoot the puck in the net.

“This pervasive puking is going to make a big splash at the Winter
Olympics,” said NBC Sports anchor Mike Tirico. “We thought the Winter
Games were going to be dull and TV ratings would be low. But who can
turn their head away when Olympic athletes are tossing chunks while
competing? It’s going to be unprecedented and it’s great TV. NBC is
going to  have a great run with this.”

Author Profile

Sammy Sportface
Possibly America’s best sports blogger. Sometimes relevant and insightful. Often funny and satirical. Mostly mysterious and unpredictable. Only mildly interested in the truth.

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